The Secret Garden

Classes on Your Life

2011-08-31T15:16:00.001-10:00

Here at Saint Martin's University, I just recently learned that there is a psychology class that focuses on the student's life. The course requires the students to make a timeline of traumatic events that occurred in their lives and learn to face them head on. The class allows the students to learn to accept the hurt and pain from their past in order to move on with their lives for better, greater things.

I never realized that all it takes is to make a timeline to close the gap, heal the scar and mend the broken heart.

It's kind of sad to think that everyone has a hurtful memory or two that limits them from being fully happy. I mean, truly be happy. The fact that we don't want to face our fears makes it so easy for small things to trigger unhappy feelings.
I have a friend who's been through so many tragic events but he's still head strong and motivated. Could it be that some people are stronger than others mentally? Or is it that some people are just more good at running away?

Just like how things we used to love to do can no longer be a part of our lives because it reminds us too much of a specific person? Since he's been gone, I wasn't in the mood to write, watch baseball, watch certain shows or even drink a specific beverage.

If these classes are forcing students face their tragedies square in the eyes, will that really be helpful? Could it have a negative impact on someone?

For instance, if every university required their psychology majors to take that class, could it turn out for the worst? To bring back painful memories when it took them so long to put it away?

Dang, our world will be filled with emotional and suicidal people. Scary.

Live Easy, Think Like a Man

2011-07-22T09:52:00.000-10:00

From past relationships to new relationships, there's one thing that always gets to me. Men do not care.

Find it, Keep it.

From opening doors to walking the date home, it's oblivious to them that in a relationship, chivalry still applies no matter how comfortable they are with each other. However, instead of feeling hurt or disappointed by this we all can make the situation better by thinking like a man.

Rather than feeling like we don't mean much to them just because they didn't offer to pay for your ice cream bill, we can just accept their gesture and return it some other way. For example, when he's over at your place and wants to change the channel, you keep to your rerun of Gilmore Girls.

Being single and out of a long, serious relationship, it made it hard for me to even think about dating other men and it made me compare them to the ex. Then it hit me, maybe women are overly sensitive and read too deep into something that doesn't carry any meaning. So bottom line, could life and relationship be much easier if we too dropped the expectations of what a man should be based off of Walt Disney's creation?

You know the one woman that has mastered this art of "Man-tality"? Samantha from Sex and the City.

She should be every woman's idol.

Matters of the Heart

2011-07-15T21:27:00.000-10:00

In this day and age, romance seem to have evaporated into thin air and is replaces by lust and desire. There's no more sincerity or innocence in love.

Even when we find that one person who seems to be the perfect fit and the gentlest of the bunch and will never hurt us will hurt us.

I never knew the true meaning of being heartbroken until my heart refused to work. Too heartbroken to the point where the blood pressure drops and stops working properly.

I realized that I am always the girl who betters the life of others but ends up with a broken heart. I gave everything to a boy who didn't know where he was going. I helped him find his way but ended up losing mine. I spent three years helping a boy feel secure and safe; in return I got nothing.

We all have our ideal images of a spouse, where are they? They must exist because we want them and crave for them. Right? All things are based on real things, images, ideas and beliefs. Facts.

If they are based on real beings, they must exist. Or are they just a pigment of our imagination?

Rosie Diaries pt trois - Bandages

2011-07-11T09:28:00.000-10:00

Noji woke up today and was very groggy as usual. She didn't want to budge when mom was getting up for work. She stuck her cute self back in between the comforter and snuggled up.

When we got to the clinic, Rosie was grumpy. She was staring at a piece of freshly baked white bread and decided to make a move for it. Slowly she crept up on to the table but was stopped by Sue's "Get Down!"


Rosie during breakfast

Then I decided to put a bandage on her forehead. She is not injured, fyi.

Belle

2011-07-01T14:04:00.000-10:00

Her petals so rare;
With beauty her care
Of radiance so blinding
Can halt a man to a stopping.

May the silhouette of stem and thorns
Reflect her life of scars and scorns.
Her soul so deep;
Innocence and love steep
Selfless and giving
No hatred for those living

Fragile and pure
Makes him secure
Her beauty belongs to he,
Who loves her best
Than the pack of rest.

A sight extraordinary as she
Men of world traveled to see.
Out of range far of ability
Robbed him of his sanity.

His greed to preserve her presence
Plucked her petals from present tense
Stripped of life,
Her stem cut by a knife

Her body lays in box of glass
Wilted, rotting and still as
Her life no more shall pass.
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

The (Ex)treme - how far will we go to get over an ex boyfriend?

2011-06-30T14:00:00.001-10:00

The Break Up

People say "time heals all wounds", that within time all of the pain and suffering will soon decrease into nothing more than a quick flashback of memories. In order to arrive at this point of numbness and freedom, what needs to be done? What if waiting is not an option and getting over him needs to be done right at this moment?

Many women cry and mourn for weeks, even months to get over a relationship but not all women can afford to break down. Working women especially can not take time off for weeks by putting their obligation on hold to let time do it's job. These women need to pull themselves together and show up at the office on the following morning, so then what is their solution to this matter? Find yourself another hobby. Whether it's hiking, clubbing or another man, it always seems to do the trick.

Though this habit can be useful and tremendously successful, it can be harmful for the soul. This constant need to occupy oneself in order to repress their emotions and behave humanely can lead to feeling empty and unable to feel whole.

It's understandable to want to keep busy from letting the mind enter the state of depression but maybe it's healthy to cry, bitch and scream about the person who mattered the most.

There are women who lose all respect for oneself and punish themselves for letting the relationship go sour. Some women feel free to be out of the cage and have numerous sex with different partners, male or female. Other women latch on to other men to replace the previous one. Then there are women who seek revenge by transforming themselves to their ex partner's ideal image and brutally kicking him to the curb.

How long must this madness continue before things get back to normal? Is there even a possibility that after a relationship things are not even slightly effected? Is there such thing as normal?

Even after all the pain and heartaches, can the mind not have alterations of any kind? If the mind is not influenced then it means that person was of no significance.
Is this really what most women want? To not feel pain at all?

How many more drunken phone calls to the ex and late night booty calls does it take for women to finally accept that wallowing is a part of the break up and it's okay to want to do so?

It's normal to feel sad and lonely but once that mountain of aftermath has been climbed, the side of happiness and contentment is waiting on the other side. Take a look around and really appreciate life as it is because without it, there wouldn't be room for growth or the need to evolve as a human being.

No more putting up a front only to have it torn down with a single phone call. Just be sad then one day it won't be so scary any more.

Coffee Addictions - That Was a Legitimate Addiction?

2011-06-20T12:30:00.004-10:00

Beware morning people, coffee addictions are for real. I've heard of many addictions, including coffee, but I've always believed that it wasn't a serious addiction or even an addiction at all.

Truthfully, I drink a cup of coffee everyday. OK, even more truthfully, I drink about five cups of coffee a day, however I didn't think it was a big deal.
Turns out, it is. According to Coffeeaddiction.net I am a coffee addict.

Caffeine addicts generally consume about 100 mg of caffeine every single day, which is about as much as half a cup of coffee! Hence, people who drink a cup of coffee daily are considered addicted.

The article also says that coffee addicts are defined by their symptoms after consumption of coffee.

Caffeine addiction can be further verified by using withdrawal symptoms as basis for judgement. Withdrawal symptoms generally occur between 12 to 24 hours of the previous dose of caffeine.The most common symptoms of addiction are headaches, physical fatigue, exhaustion, moodiness, muscle aches, difficulty concentrating, irritability and gloom. Most people who quit caffeine consumption abruptly talk about headache and fatigue as the main symptoms.

Coffee affects other things:

Most certainly some people have health problems that may be exacerbated by intake of caffeine. For example: Caffeine intake can increase breast tenderness during PMS ( Premenstrual Syndrome ) and it can also be linked to many other health conditions

The website also mentions curing coffee addictions with hypnosis. Really?
It seems the world is making every little thing into a disease or illness. What is this world coming to?

Additional Source: http://www.myaddiction.com/education/articles/caffeine_addiction.html

Helpful Tip of the Day: Keeping the Boobs Happy and Healthy

2011-06-20T12:08:00.000-10:00

Women-health-info.com

Breasts are mysterious objects, they get bigger when you want them to shrink and shrink when you need them bigger. Though it gives us stress when it comes to maintaining them, it's extremely important to take care of our precious boobies.

When you are in the shower, give yourself a self breast examination. A self breast examination is used to check for tumors in the breast or any other abnormalities (bumps, dents, etc) in the breasts.

1. Check your breasts with the tips of your fingers; pointer, middle and ring finger and firmly press around your nipple to check for painless bumps or lumps.
2. Check in the shower with one arm lifted up and behind the head.
3. Check lying down on your back.
4. Do not check it while lying on your side or slightly to your side.

I gave myself a self breast exam while I was lying slightly to my side and I felt couple bumps and I thought it was a tumor. Although it wasn't painless, actually my breasts have been tender and sore for couple weeks so I thought there was something wrong with them. I went to my doctor and she said there's nothing wrong with them, they were just growing...

Geez.

Print the Shower Card for details on self breast exams and keep yourself informed about breast cancer.

What's the Secret Garden? Explaination Once Again..

2011-06-18T11:19:00.001-10:00

Hello Dolls (or gentle-dolls? if you are a male?)

So basically, the Secret Garden was once a blog about alternative medicine (acupuncture, chiropractors, herbalist, etc) but then I thought this blog is to reflect myself but I don't think that alternative medicine fully explains who I am.

This blog reflects my perspective and opinions of living life to the fullest. I think you need to live out side the box and not follow the trail which has been paved for you.

My trail was to become an acupuncturist, live in Hawaii and follow in my mother's footsteps. Get good grades in school, read many books and live my life serving others. I didn't like the sound of that.

I love fashion, going out, the glamorous life and being able to write. I was once told to not go to a 4 year university and go to a trade school. No thanks. Why is it that I have to live like this and why can't I just do what I want to do?

Then I thought, I can merge the two. I can become a writer and write about alternative med, fashion, makeup, sex, relationships, the BIG BANG while practicing alternative med. Why the heck not? Who said I can't? This inspired me to write about topics that will potentially influence me and others to think differently and have them wondering if they too can alter some parts of their lives so they can achieve the ultimate happiness.

Sounds neat, huh?

So, there you have it. A 411 on the Secret Garden.
P.S. It's called the Secret Garden because it's a garden (a gathering place) of ideas, theories, a look into other people's lifestyles, etc which will help us become a bit quirky and reach that level of satisfaction and completeness that's not only reached when we have orgasms.

Rosie Diaries pt deux - Her cuteness

2011-06-18T10:36:00.000-10:00

Rosie a.k.a Noji

Hello World!

Rosie dearest all cozy in her blanket. There are 2 gold seat cushions on that chair because Rosie likes to sit with us while we have our breakfast and lunch.

The chair was too low and she could not see our faces when she ate her food. So my mother decided to turn the chair into a booster chair.

You all are probably wondering why she's on my blog when my blog is about living life in a not-so-traditional way, whether they are medical or retail related.

Rosie is our therapy dog and her duties are to keep our patients company during their acupuncture treatments. Therefore, she is part of an alternative lifestyle. Thank you very much.

Now, let's embrace her cuteness. Shall we?

Women with Big Breasts are SMART!

2011-06-17T14:59:00.000-10:00

BREAKING NEWS!!!
(well for me anyway, this news is pretty darn old but it's huge news to me!)

Thank you Lord for creating some specimen on earth who decided to actually conduct a study on this. AMEN!

Random shirt that shows appreciation for big boobs

An article written in 2009 which was featured on current.com, showed that women with large breasts are smart!

website: http://current.com/10hk24c

Sat, Jun 18, 2011
The Star/Asia News Network

Women with bigger breasts found to be smarter
A STUDY conducted in the United States showed that women with big breasts are not necessarily less intelligent than those who are less endowed.
Quoting a Singapore newspaper article, Sin Chew Daily said women with bigger breasts were found to be smarter instead.
It said the study was conducted in Chicago to find out whether the size of a woman’s bust affected her brain power.
The study, involving 1,200 women, was conducted by a female researcher. The subjects were divided into five groups, from extra small to extra big.
The report said it was possible such women were smarter due to the higher level of female hormones that could result in better development in the brain.

As a woman of Korean descent, I feel rejuvenated and proud to have big boobs. For years I was teased due to my large breasts and I resented my mother for giving me DD breasts. Big boobed women of the world; UNITE!

Finding Mr. Right; Should Women Settle for Mr. Almost?

2011-06-17T10:45:00.000-10:00

Many have attempted, rarely they've succeeded and majority have failed. Why is it that women have this mentality that men can be changed and that if they invest all of their love and wishful thoughts it will come true? Women have this idea that men desire our motherly care and that is what we are placed here for, but after seven cups of coffee I realized that this is just a fairy tale ideal that women of many generations ago have implanted in our heads.

Disney's Beauty and the Beast

Take Walt Disney's Beauty and the Beast for example, the whole concept of this story is that Belle (the caring, beautiful woman who has a heart of gold) sticks around long enough to change the Beast's heart and transform him from a selfish, self centered, fugly being with anger issues into a prince charming. We as children believe that this is how life is supposed to be, that we have the ability or magical powers to change a man into our dream guy. Is this really a healthy mindset to be viewed by young girls? Does this mean that girls should neglect their dreams, aspirations and goals in hopes that their man will one day become their Mr. Right?

So let's think about this ladies, is it really worth all the energy and time on a man that will always be the same? Why is it that we can't accept them for who they are and live a happily ever after ending? Actually, weren't we the ones who wanted to give them a shot to begin with? If these men do not fit our criteria for an eligible boyfriend or husband, why did we even go on that first date?

All of these thoughts make me wonder if we subconsciously desire perfection in our spouses because we can not achieve perfection in ourselves. We take out our insecurities in our spouses. As for me, I want my boyfriend to be taller. Even though he is 6 inches taller than me I feel that I need him to be a foot taller. One day, after numerous days of hoping he'll grow taller, I realized that because I'm insecure of my height, I needed him to be bigger than me.

I've always been proud of my height (I'm 5'2 and a quarter almost 5'3) up until someone told me I'm too tall. I didn't think about it much but since then I felt that I needed a man that was much taller than me. Of course, this lead to my obsession with growth stretches.

Compared to the male gender, us females have seemingly higher rate of dissatisfaction of our bodies and lives. Most men do not care about their fashion choices and how their clothes reflect themselves to others.

Men remind me of thirteen year old teenagers, when the parents tell the teens in a authoritative way they refuse to do so. When women keep pushing them to change they will do the complete opposite. Precisely, this is true for everyone, no?

I've once heard that men are nothing without competence, which explains how short, bald, nerdy men end up with extremely beautiful, smart and faithful wives. Women crave that power, what attracts a woman to a man is his competence as a man. A man is conceptualized to be the bread winner and protector as for the women we are to be the care giver. I've come to a conclusion that the physical features of a man is what attracts a woman but their capabilities are what draws them in for more.
When these expectations are not met, women want a change but have already developed such a strong bond and comfort that they become desperate to change them.

This results to stress, disappointment and desire for the things which we do not have at the moment, therefore disregarding our spouses as "Mr. Not Right but Will be Right with My Help". Our hopes lead us to many hours of purchasing his clothes, doing his bookkeeping, cleaning his house, hiding the video games and many other hopeless behaviors. If we accepted them for who they are and out weight his bad qualities with his good ones, we can learn to be happy with what we got. Sadly, we don't know where to draw the line between accepting them and coexisting with a total loser.

Should we just wait and pray that he will eventually turn out to be our Mr. Right or take actions into our own hands? When is it OK to tell a man that he needs to change his ways and is it even possible for a person to change for their spouse? Change, my friend, is such a simple act yet so difficult to begin. Is it even moral for a person to ask another person to change themselves implying that they require some fixing and that there's nothing wrong with us?

Could it be that there is something wrong with us by thinking that it's OK to ask someone else to change for us? We always think "It's for his own good" and "He'll thank me later". Will he? Also, why don't we just end the relationship when we finally see that the things that need fixin' outweigh the things that we love about them? Maybe, instead of asking for changes from others, we should ask ourselves how we can change to better the situation.

It's like filing your finger nails, there's that one corner that needs filing and when we sand it down, we notice it doesn't match with the rest of the nine finger nails. Hence the reason why we must fix all of them.

Face it ladies, we want Mr. Right or nothing at all. I blame fairy tales.

Local Magazines - What's Out There?

2011-06-16T13:50:00.000-10:00

"I'm 20 years old and in need to a job. Where can I get a friggin job as a writer?"

Thoughts like these sped through my mind as I glanced at my desk calendar this morning and realized that It's already been a month since I've been back home. Since then, I've done nothing but just manage the desk at my mother's acupuncture clinic and play catch-up with my girlfriends. No sign of motivation nor determination for further advancement in my career decision.

So I decided to Google some local magazines here in Hawaii and discovered so many of them that it just blew my mind out of this desperate world of career seeking world.

I came across Kane Magazine; a men's magazine in Hawaii which I am extremely interested in. This magazine features interviews with the men of Hawaii and some eligible bachelors. I've contacted them about possibly adding me as columnist so I can reveal the minds of Hawaiian women and their opinions about them; their turn ons, turn offs, what's good to do on dates, etc.. However, it looks like their website has been discontinued since 2008. How sad.

MMA Hawaii Magazine Cover

Next, MMA Hawaii Magazine. Pretty darn straight forward isn't it? Basically an all-in-one source for anything MMA or UFC related in Hawaii or for folks of Hawaii. On June 17th, 18th and 19th, they are having a MMA Hawaii Expo which will include MMA events with a body building contest. The events will include MMA fighters Jake Shields and Gilbert Melendez.

There are major magazines in Hawaii such as Honolulu Magazine, Hawaii Magazine, etc, however, I wanted to work with magazines that are not so corporate and carried the Hawaii charm.

Racesauce Mag - Japan

For those of you who enjoy import car racing or street racing, there's Racesauce Hawaii; a website dedicated to car racing fanatics. It covers events in Hawaii and in other states that are relevant to import cars, models and everything racing. Such events like Hot Import Nights Hawaii and Hella Flush Hawaii. To be honest, I have no idea what they are but they sure look hella fun.

GAY ALERT!
I think this is a great addition to Hawaii's gay community and it's filled with relationship, dating and fashion! Expression Magazine is a gay magazine which features headlines from the islands. So far, this is the most exciting alternative magazine I've encountered so far, but then again, maybe it's because of my gay friendly mentality. This magazine is awesome for people who are interested in attending late night events or galas (or dressing up super hot). It's got 411 on gay events and clubs that are happening everyday of the week. The magazine has information of Hawaii Fest/Honolulu Pride. The events has passed but still not too late to find out when it'll reoccur on the islands.

In conclusion, there are many opportunities for writers who want to jump start their careers. The question is, which one works the best for me? Hopefully one day I can start my own health magazine and sweep the world with my cool, suave words of alternative medicine.

A girl can dream right?

Rosie in Action

2011-06-13T15:21:00.000-10:00

Rosie sniffing my chocolate sun flower

She's so photogenic. I swear she can be a doggy model.

Rosie Diary- Daily life of Rosie the Therapy Dog

2011-06-13T11:39:00.000-10:00

Rosie Diary is a tribute to our dog Rosie who works 5 days a week as a therapy dog. She didn't receive any training to be a therapy dog but all of our patients want to have her around when they get their treatments. We use red infra lamps during acupuncture treatments and she likes to take naps with the patients in 25 minute increments. I was inspired to write about Rosie on my blog when a patient said that she was a unique dog.

My mom's shitzu, Rosie, is our acupuncture clinic's therapy dog and she is beloved by everyone.

One of Rosie's houses at our clinic

Rosie turned 6 years in April and she weighs 4 pounds as of today. She has a strange habit of sleeping between our patients' legs while they are receiving their acupuncture treatments. The dog loves warm places and she naps about every 2 hours for about an hour.

Basically she's my mom's little princess. Not only does she eat human food, she only eats human food that's been heated in the microwave and cut into bite size pieces. She does not like to eat fish, eggs or shrimp but loves beef, pork and chicken. However, she does not eat all red meat, the meat has to be prepared and marinated in a certain way or else she refuses to eat and throws up stomach acid on our carpet.

This morning before heading out to work my mom sliced up pieces of medium rare steak and mixed in steamed rice in her bowl. Rosie being the picky eater gave the bowl a sniff and turned her head indicating that she was displeased with her meal, which lead to projectile vomiting in the kitchen. She reminds me of Paris Hilton and her strike against using the prison toilet in front of her inmates by refusing to intake her meals.

I wondered if all shitzus behaved this way because they were bred to be lap dogs in China. When will the spoiling of the dog come to an end? Will Rosie ever learn to accept her meal and realize that she is fortunate to be living in such luxurious conditions? For God's sake, she has over 40 designer dresses and 7 doggy houses not including the ones we've previously thrown away. I feel that Rosie acts this way because we've always treated her like a princess; feeding her organic vegetables, cold iced tea, freshly grilled beef and crunchy gourmet dessert cookies.

Is it our fault that we decided to treat dogs equal to humans?

Mystical Mermaids; Just Humans or Creatures with Healing Powers?

2011-06-10T11:47:00.000-10:00


Astrid Berges-Frisbey

Since the day I first watched The Little Mermaid, I have been just crazy about them and I would read numerous books about these mystical creatures whom we refer to as mermaids. Now that I've grown out of the mermaid-dress-up phase I've gotten into the research phase. From my knowledge, I know that mermaids are half human-half fish creatures that enchant sailors and drown them underwater to make them their eternal husbands. This idea of magical creatures seem so unreal and unbelievable yet, I wondered if it was really true.

How could people long ago make up stories about magical underwater creatures without basing it on something real? The very first mermaid must be modeled after something that resembled it in physical resemblance or in characteristics. This lead me to such information that I just had to share.

I came across a website called Woman Thou Art God and it discusses the possibilities of mermaids being resembled or mistaken for humans or animals. William Bond, the author of The Secret History of Mermaids, discusses how history provides evidence that mermaids could actually be woman divers in many areas of the world, which is why some sightings of mermaids record that they did not have tails. During these times, women were forbidden to be swimming in the wide ocean or be nude so it could be that when sailors saw such occurrences, they believed that they have encountered mermaids.

The key to making sense of all these tales comes through the story of a Dutch seaman called Hamel. He was on a Dutch ship, ‘Sperwer’ that was wrecked near the Korean island of Cheju in 1653. Where he and the other survivors of the wreck spent ten months on the island. On returning to Holland, he wrote a book about his experiences and claimed that there were mermaids on the island. What’s interesting is that even today women from the island dive for shellfish and edible seaweed. Does this mean that what we refer to as mermaids are simply women divers?

Thanks to television, I was introduced to a mermaid, a woman who can interact with underwater creatures, free dive for 50M underwater in one breath. She was interviewed on 20/20 on a special edition called "Superhumans".

"The tail gives me so much more propulsion and streamline ability," said Fraser. "I can swim much faster with the tail on than other people can without it. So really fast, strong swimmers can't keep up with me when I'm wearing it. It's like it imbues me with some kind of superhuman powers of confidence and longevity to be in the ocean."

What got me thinking was the documentary of "The Little Mermaid", a girl born with a mermaids tail. This is called the mermaid syndrome also known as sirenomelia. Her name is Shiloh Pepin and she was born with the mermaid syndrome, her muscles joined her two legs and she was born without a rectum, bladder, vagina, colon or uterus.


Mermaid Syndrome

Could it be that people saw a woman with the mermaid syndrome and thought she was a mermaid? Also, why is it that people who have this syndrome are all women?

In the movie, Pirates of the Carribean - On Stranger Tides, the mermaids were known to have healing powers. Why is this so? Is it something about their soul? Could mermaids be a symbol for women healers? Why is it that mermaids are known to have these healing powers?
There are stories of mermaids and mermaid powers.

Sometimes a kind mermaid will give good advice to human beings. There was once a man in Galloway who had skill as a curer of diseases, and it was said that he received some of his knowledge from a mermaid. A beautiful girl named May was ill with consumption. The Galloway herbalist tried in vain to cure her, and as he loved her dearly and wished to marry her, his heart was very sad when he found that his herbs did not do her any good. One evening as he sat sorrowing on the shore, a mermaid raised her head above the waves and sang:
Would you let bonnie May die in your handAnd the mugwort flowering in the land?
(Mugwort is a flowering, aromatic plant.)
Then she vanished. The man went at once and gathered the flowers of the mugwort, and made a medicine. This he gave to May, who was soon restored to health.

Maybe these legends are not false at all. Maybe there is a possibility that mermaids were once healers, human beings who walked the earth.

I still would like to believe that there are such creatures as mermaids and one day our technology will be astronomically advanced that we will be able to venture down below into the unknown?
Yes, I believe we will.

Talking about sex

2011-06-09T12:58:00.000-10:00

Late last night my girlfriends and I decided to have dinner after long hours of hitting up the beach and working out. After two hours of discussing which restaurant to dine at, we decided to go to Curry House on McCully street. As we were discussing each others lives, I realized what we were doing now reminded me of all the dinner scenes in Sex and the City. That got me thinking; how far is going too far when it comes to talking about sex?

There is fine line between discussing some parts of our daily lives and exposing too much about ourselves. One of my girlfriends is studying abroad in Japan and she lost her virginity at twenty years old to a man she only dated for two weeks. Why wait that long to give it away so quick? Now she had entered the unsettling and mysterious world of sex. She wanted to know all about yeast infections, the pills, the STDs and turned to one of us for help.

Her questions made me wonder about all the women in the world who do not have girlfriends to talk to about sex and the grey areas which we have no clue how to deal with. Although the world came up with medications, education and disease control to aid those of us who need it, why is it that the rate of sexually transmitted diseases are shooting through the roof?

We are too scared to face the things that can be harmful to us so we end up disregarding the warning signs that read "Danger! Use a Condom" or "See a gynecologist".

The truth is, sex isn't something to be ashamed of or to hide. Yes, it is something to be done in privacy with someone special but it should not be a sinful or embarrassing thing. We are meant to have sex and reproduce, it's us who made this into something bad. If everyone's conception of sex was viewed as a natural process of love, then we won't be too afraid to learn about it and ask questions, therefore limiting the spread of diseases. Don't you agree?

William Li - Starving Cancer

2011-02-09T23:38:00.002-10:00

This is an interesting video sent to me by my sister, it's a video of William Li explaining Angiogenesis.

William Li: Can we eat to starve cancer? | Video on TED.com

FROM TED.COM

William Li presents a new way to think about treating cancer and other diseases: anti-angiogenesis, preventing the growth of blood vessels that feed a tumor. The crucial first (and best) step: Eating cancer-fighting foods that cut off the supply lines and beat cancer at its own game.

Finding a job as a alternative health columnist

2011-02-08T22:19:00.001-10:00

Being a writer is tough, finding a job as a writer is even tougher, however, finding a job as an acupuncture columnist is even harder.

Basically, the only acupuncture related newspaper or magazine I know is Acupuncture Today and that's all the way in San Diego, CA. I'm all the way here in Washington state, how the heck am I going to apply for a job there?

It's really frustrating because alternative medicine is rising so quickly but there aren't that many writers that are speaking out about it. For example, on Oahu, the local newspaper do not have a health columnist that has solely dedicated his or her work to alternative medicine. Although I have started my blog that is relative to acupuncture and alternative medicine, it's not quite there. I do not have an acupuncture degree nor have any educational background on it other than the fact that I've worked at an acupuncture clinic.

I want to become a health columnist that will dedicate all of her work to spreading the knowledge of alternative medicine and make sure that the community will be more familiarized with this practice. I want to get my license, expand my mother's clinic by adding my position there, eventually travel the world to experience and discover other forms of alternative medicine, write about my experiences through my health column/blog/articles and finally, to build my own online magazine or weekly newspaper dedicated to acupuncture and other forms of alternative medicine.

It's a bit depressing to know that this is a long shot and will take possible all my life to get there.


From google search engine. Just random pics

Another part of me is saying, screw this. Get my license and become a designated acupuncturist for a MLB team. Preferably the Brewers.

Speaking of which, here's an article on Haro Ogawa, the designated acupuncturist for the San Francisco Giants.

Haro Ogawa interview with Acupuncture Today

http://acupuncturetoday.com/mpacms/at/article.php?id=32011

Damn, if I could get that job, I would have for real lived a good life.

Anyways, there's still hope for those of us aspiring acupuncturists. Just keeping out heads up.

Protection from the Flu Through Acupuncture

2011-02-02T09:27:00.003-10:00

This is a story covered by Hawaii's KHON2 News on Oahu.
Thought I should share this with you all.

Protection from the Flu Through Acupunctur

http://www.khon2.com/news/local/story/Protection-from-the-Flu-Through-Acupuncture/_GegbGmKLUaqijth_E5XeQ.cspxe

Protection from the Flu Through Acupuncture

Reported by: Olena Heu
Email: oheu@khon2.com
Last Update: 11/19/2009 8:07 am

Print Story | ShareThis

< Previous

Next >

Play Video

Video 1 of 1

All Video

Protection From the Flu Through Acupuncture

Protection From the Flu Through Acupuncture

Flu season officially began last month and will run until May of next year, but in Hawaii the rate of infection continues year-round.

There are many ways to boost your immune system and prevent getting sick...including a method that will poke you into good health.

It’s just another visit to the doctor's office…with a steady hand and precise placement, the use of needles, heat and incense, if done right, is said to improve circulation, boost the immune system and offer relief for pain and prevent illness.

“Everybody said how you take care is the answer of how you live a healthy longer,” Dr. Jun Ae Ha of Dr. Ha’s Clinic said.(Dr. Jung Ae Ha)

In an effort to keep healthy and stay flu free many are seeking out traditional acupuncture.

“Just mainly our local patients they tell their friends, their daughters and they come in and they bring their friends in,” Sunnie Kim said.

“Maybe the ear acupoint very much good yeah,” Dr. Ha said.

Acupuncture is said to have originated in china thousands of years ago and uses needles to stimulate nerves, muscles and connective tissue.

“Now number one topic is how we can help and how we can keep or how we can increase immunity,” Dr. Ha said.

Dr. Ha's office also recommends an organic all natural way to prevent illness with herbal supplements.

“They're grinded, dried, packed herbs that’s actually used for the liquid medicine but Dr. Ha grinds them herself,” Kim said.

Dr. Ha says she uses organic herbs to treat almost any ailment including the flu.

“We have patients coming in and they freak out and they are coming here “oh I need three hundred pills,” Kim said.

At about a dollar a pill the herbal supplements are proving to be very popular...but maybe not as popular as the resident therapy dog Rosie.

People come from all over the island to receive treatment and spend time with their little furry friend.

The Growth of Acupuncture

2011-01-25T21:09:00.001-10:00

[My mom's acupuncture clinic. Rosie, therapy dog with Dr. Ha]

I can recall when people used to think that Acupuncture was a "fake" medical practice and was frowned upon because it was different. probably it's because the theory and philosophy of Acupuncture is hard to understand and to accept. If someone who has never experienced or heard of Oriental Medicine will have a hard time understanding Qi and meridian channels used in Acupuncture studies.

What's really great is that now a days, Acupuncture is more frequently searched for as a means of medical practice. Acupuncture is not the only medical practice that's rapidly growing, Naturopathic Medicine, Chiropractors and other alternative medicines are growing throughout the nation. Dr. Oz from the Dr. Oz Show and Oprah Winfrey Show graduated with a Ph. D in Naturopathic Medicine at Bastyr University last year. The fact that Naturopathic Medicine and Alternative Medicine is being accepted in society is a big step up from the types of social label these practices had in the past.

The number of Acupuncture schools are growing also along with the number of medical health insurances that are covering for Acupuncture and Chiropractors. What really surprised me is that Acupuncture and Oriental Medicine degrees are being offered at universities that are not specifically focused on alternative medicine. For example, So Cal University of Health Sciences, Southern Cross University, and University of Bridgeport.

I personally like University of Bridgeport because you can get your Acupuncture Degree and play sport and be part of a bigger community. Usually universities that are merely focused on alternative health sciences do not have any extracurricular activities or NCAA sports. UB has the degree that you want and you can have a real college experience.

You see, Acupuncture has grown a lot and is slowly making it's way to state schools. Hoping that one day it'll be even more well recognized by the society.

My Experience with Acupuncture

2011-01-14T17:37:00.000-10:00

So.. This whole misconception of Acupuncture being this painful method of crazy medical practice is stupid. Basically Acupuncture is an oriental medical practice that's been around for thousands of years and it's not painful at all.

As a patient, I feel that it's relaxing and surprisingly pleasant. The moment the needles are in my body I feel my body just letting go of all the stress and falling straight to sleep.

Crazy Fact 1: Acupuncturists can tell if you are pregnant and determine the sex of the baby by checking your pulse.

I know it's totally unbelievable but I swear, I've seen it. My mom is an Acupuncturists and with the help of her needles and medicine a lot of women have gotten pregnant, better yet she told them the sex of the baby also. Not all on the same day but couple months later she did.

Crazy Fact 2: I'm a bit tired so I'm just going to stick with number 1.

This is MY experience with Acupuncture so I've decided to make this blog extremely casual. It's was a long weekend; first week of school and my brain just decided to crash right now.

I've heard horror stories about fake Acupuncturists that have their own clinic but do not have a License. My high school counselor told me that her husband had terrible back problems and when she went to an Acupuncturist in downtown of Hawaii, the Acupuncturist placed needled in his back while he was sitting down! How crazy is that? What kind of Acupuncturist would do that? Um obviously a fake one? So please be careful when it comes to picking which Acupuncturist to go to. Check yelp or other search engines for review sites because not all Acupuncture clinics are legit. One particular clinic, so far as I've heard, used bottles of tylenol in their herbal medicine. The patients have reported terrible and severe side effects like vomiting and headache.

Once again, be extremely careful. Usually the best clinic to go to is one that's been spread by word of mouth.

Happy choosing!

Acupuncture and Sleep Apnea

2010-12-27T20:49:00.001-10:00

There are many people who suffer from sleep apnea, "a common disorder in which you have one or more pauses in breathing or shallow breaths while you sleep" (www.nhlbi.nih.gov).

Such extremities like jaw surgeries are required to tame sleep apnea and most people do not know if they have the disorder because there aren't overwhelming symptoms.

My boyfriend snores a lot, every time he sleeps so that made me think about sleep apnea. I've done some research for a previous community college newspaper last year which lead me to suspect that he is suffering from sleep apnea.

Doing some light reading, I came across this website called sleepdisordersguide.com where there was an article about sleep apnea and acupuncture.

http://www.sleepdisordersguide.com/blog/sleepdisorders/acupuncture-an-alternative-treatment-for-sleep-apnea-that-works/

----------------------------------------------------------------

Sleep apnea is a disorder that can seriously affect your health and quality of life.
Have you tired trying with all the treatments for sleep apnea?
Acupuncture is one of the best treatments for sleep apnea.
Acupuncture is one of the oldest alternative treatments for the treatment of many medical problems including sleep apnea.
Alternative treatment is preferred for sleep apnea treatment due to various advantages over conventional treatment. Acupuncture is well accepted because it avoids the risk of side effects as it includes natural treatment.
According to the assumption made in traditional Chinese medicine, your body is supposed to function properly. When all are in harmony, body will function properly.
You have to in certain way to make your body work properly. You have to consider diet, exercise, mental and spiritual well-being that contributes to harmony.
When something is out of order, there is a definite reason. It is the search of underlying cause rather than concentration on symptoms that make acupuncture recommended treatment for sleep apnea.
Acupuncture involves application of fine needles into the human body into one or more of the 2,000 acupuncture points.
These points link twelve main and eight secondary pathways. The channels or pathways are called meridians. The meridians conduct energy between the body’s skin and internal organs.
The energy conducted by meridians coordinate the balance between one’s spiritual, mental, physical and emotional state.
Acupuncture body parts have been identified that are related to sleep issues to such a point that a method known as acupressure is used to induce sleep. Acupressure is nothing but applying light pressure to the acupuncture body point.
This can be done by pinching the point mildly between the thumb and finger. Both acupuncture and acupressure reduce tension, increase circulation, brings down levels of stress and regulate breath so that the body is enabled and relaxes deeply.
Using acupuncture for sleep apnea can over time correct whatever imbalances are causing sleep apnea, minus any side effects. Apart from improved sleep, people who have used acupuncture for sleep apnea obtained a greater feeling of well-being and improvement in health.
Once you start use acupuncture, your sleep improves slowly. During the treatment, do not consume caffeine, stress hormones should be decreased, daily routines and diet should be modified.
After several sessions, there is no need of any treatments to help in getting sleep. Each type of acupuncture for sleep apnea treatment consists of a different combination of meridians or points. Treatment with acupuncture differs for specific needs of individuals to fit that person.

Utah soldier killed trying to save comrade in Afghanistan

2010-10-20T22:11:00.001-10:00

This is an article that was emailed to me from my sister, he was her friend and trained with her. I just wanted to dedicate this article to those who had lost someone.

Utah soldier killed trying to save comrade in Afghanistan

Written by: Dan Metcalf Jr.

Reported by: Kelli O'Hara
Reported by: Annie Cutler

Print Story

Published: 10/14 2:51 pm

ShareThis

Updated: 10/15 3:21 am

SALT LAKE CITY (ABC 4 News) - A soldier from Utah has been killed in Afghanistan.

ABC 4 News has learned that 19-year-old Jordan Byrd was killed while trying to save a fallen comrade during a gun battle, according to family members.

Byrd's family says Jordan joined the U.S. Army and became a medic in order to pay for medical school.

According to Byrd's family, Jordan was trying to assist a soldier who had been shot by a sniper, and used his body as a shield to protect a member of his unit.

Byrd's wife recently gave birth to the couple's son. A month ago, doctors induced labor only two days before Jordan deployed to Afghanistan.

Byrd spent some of his childhood in Dugway, Utah.

He is the fourth Utah soldier to die in Afghanistan since August 2010.

Capt. Ellery R. Wallace was killed August 29th, Sgt. Aaron K. Kramer was killed on September 16th, Chief Warrant Officer Matthew G. Wagstaff was killed on September 21st.

The Governor sent his condolences through a statement that says, "We are saddened to learn of the death of another young Utah soldier serving his country overseas. Private First Class Byrd has paid the ultimate sacrifice to defend our country and our American way of life, and for that he will never be forgotten.”

Sexually Transmitted Diseases and Acupuncture

2010-10-11T20:51:00.001-10:00

How can it help?

Acupuncture is a part of traditional Chinese medicine. It works to restore the flow and balance to the qi (energy) in the body. Tiny needles are inserted along meridian lines to help achieve this. Acupuncture is believed by some to be effective in treating the symptoms of STDs and improving immunity. Results of a recent research trial show that acupuncture can help to heal herpes lesions and reduce recurrence of the infection.

Here's the link:

http://www.wdxcyber.com/alternative-therapy-STDs.html

This is a sensitive topic and I thought it was interesting how Acupuncture can help the STD symptoms. Above is a bit of info on STDs and Acupuncture.

Here's an interesting article on Acupuncture and HIV, could it be that Acupuncture and naturopathic medicine will be the next big thing?

How TCM Works for the HIV Patient

So it works great. But how does it work? Chinese medicine can appear to be mystery. Behind the needles, smoking moxa sticks, and funky-smelling herbs that comprise the typical TCM experience is a complex philosophy that explains relationships between organs, blood, and Qi flow. All theories and diagnoses in this medical tradition, however, follow a very simple premise: that health is a balance or harmony of forces and properties in the body, and ill health a disharmony.

Disharmony can be caused by outside forces, such as cold or wind, and inside forces, such as emotions. But ancient texts also describe the existence of pestilences, called li qi or yi qi. These are diseases from the outside world, but they different from the usual suspects; they’re the external “evils” of wind, cold, heat, dampness, and dryness.

A pestilence is highly infectious and can bring about an epidemic. Since TCM understands epidemics, that knowledge and protocol can be brought to bear on one of the most devastating pandemics of our time, AIDS.

TCM vs. HIV

A small number of acupuncturists have been studying the AIDS virus and developing a TCM diagnosis for the disease since the health crisis first began. Misha Cohen, O.M.D., L.Ac, describes the specific diagnosis of HIV/AIDS as invasion by toxic heat pestilence, which eventually causes spleen/stomach deficiency inside the body. Once the body is depleted by the disease’s attack on the spleen and stomach, the disease can progress to cause additional disharmonies, such as liver Qi stagnation and blood deficiency.

Each individual will have a unique response to the AIDS virus, and different disharmonies will develop in each person. One AIDS patient might develop Kaposi’s sarcoma, for instance, while another might experience anemia or peripheral neuropathy. The versatility built into treatments — there are hundreds of acupuncture points to choose from and endless point combinations possible — ensures a targeted treatment that is tailored to each patient’s health needs.

How do Western HIV/AIDS doctors view the role of acupuncturists in treating AIDS patients? Charles describes his Western doctor as being very open to acupuncture — in fact, his doctor was the one that referred him to an acupuncturist. Andre’s doctor doesn’ comment when Andre describes his TCM involvement, and Andre senses that his doctor might not value TCM. However, both men find it easy to work both East and West into their lives. They regularly check in with their Western doctors to monitor the virus, and their acupuncturists are well versed in Western medicines and protocol for HIV/AIDS. In the view of many in the forefront of the fight against HIV and AIDS, Western and TCM doctors working in collaboration provide the best care to patients battling one of the most devastating health problems in recent history.

It is thought that more than 1 million people are living with HIV in the United States. Acupuncture has the potential to enrich the health and quality of life of their lives.

Acupuncture and HIV: The "new" weapon in the fight against HIV/AIDS

Society have been studying this disease for decades and resulted unsuccessful in finding a cure to date. Now that Acupuncture is such a rapidly growing medical practice, it's getting some attention in the STD and AIDS/HIV department. This oriental medical practice was mocked and judged as a trickery for a very long time but is now a respected form of medicine and medical practice. Why is that so? I personally believe that it was because of the malpractice cases of western medicine and the deadly side effects of prescription drugs.

Surprisingly, Acupuncture has started to join forces with the western medicine in hospitals across the country. Who knows? Maybe in the future, there will be Acupuncture hospitals and pharmacies dedicated to herbal medicines. All I know is, that's why I'm in college and that, my friend, will come true one day. Just watch me.

MAKE OVER

2010-10-10T00:30:00.000-10:00

Couple of days ago, I hurt my arm which caused me to take a bunch of pills and gave a whole lot of time to think. After I started to think, I've realized that I'm not writing about the things I want to write about.

I have always wanted to write about the two things that I'm passionate about; acupuncture and oriental medicine and writing. The mysteries behind acupuncture are endless and writing always enables people to communicate. My main goal in life was to discover new ways of pursuing healthy lifestyles that are not heavily dependent on prescription drugs. Personally, prescription drugs do not agree with my insides and makes me queasy. Herbal medicine on the other hand has helped me a lot over the years from stomach pains to tonsillitis. I don't believe that herbal medicine conquers western medicine, I believe that many people will benefit more from both medicines. I want to create a new form of herbal medicine that has the same healing effect and that's better tasting for those of us who are not big fans of the herbal taste. Which is why I have a strong desire to study herbal medicine and nutrition.

So I've had an epiphany, the Secret Garden has always been a place where readers can unwind and vent about their day or their problems. A place where the readers can relate to my writing in some way. Then I thought that I've always wanted to write about how new perspectives can change people's lives. So I decided that it's about time the Secret Garden has gotten a makeover. I shall write about alternative medicine and my experiences with it. I've worked for an acupuncturist so I know what kind of things I would like to introduce to the readers and it won't always be about that. It'll be about anything and everything that has to do with mind, body, health and positive influences.

So now, the Secret Garden has a purpose and become a symbol of positive knowledge that's waiting for everyone to stroll on in to see the enchantments that's lying within.

Savory Snack-age to Satisfy the Sweet Suspire

2010-10-09T23:57:00.000-10:00

It has come to our attention that not many college students have the time to decide which cereal has the least amount of calories or what brand of frozen dinners are the leaner choice for a midnight snack. Times like these is when nutrition facts on the back of packaged food products come in real handy. Here's the list of five sinful store bought snacks that will satisfy the guilty cravings without the guilt.

5. Fruity Snacks

They are petite, mobile and incredibly chewy with an aura of fruity goodness glowing all around the packaging. Although the fruity snacks do not have a large amount of calories it's always a wise judgment to read the box before purchasing. Try Market Pantry's Fruit Snacks in mixed fruit flavors, they have 0 grams of fat, saturated fat, trans fat and only 80 calories per pouch, plus, the gummy fruits have 100% daily recommended values of Vitamin C.

4.Cereal Bar

Who said cereals were only meant for breakfasts? Try Kellogg's Special K Bar in blueberry and strawberry flavor. Each bar is filled with 90 calories, 1.5 grams in fat and 1 gram of saturated fat. Take it on the go to munch on during classes and it'll fill the body's nutrients to boost your brainpower!

Source: www.nutritiondata.self.com

3. Juice

It's not only for kids, Capri Sun 100% Juice is a spill-free juice drink with only 80 calories in each juice pouch and absolutely zero grams of fat. However, fruit punch and apple are the only flavors that are only 80 calories but the other flavors: berry, grape and citrus are 90-100 calories per pouch. As a kick, try sticking it in the freezer for 3 hours to turn it into a frozen treat.

Sources: brands.kraftfoods.com/caprisun/default.aspx

2. Ice Cream Bars

There's nothing like chilling out with a classic ice cream bar in front of the television, snuggled up in a fleece blanket. This probably isn't the most healthiest thing to do on a Sunday night but it can magically become a wise choice with North Star's Healthy Wise Fudge Bars. Each fudge bar is 40 calories with 3 grams of sugar and no fat. Did you get that? ZERO FAT AND 40 CALORIES! Every box has 12 fudge bars and just enough to go around the room with your fellow snuggle mates.

Source: www.northstarfrozentreats.com

1. Cookies

Who doesn't love cookies? It's sweet and doughy bites are something that we all can't get enough of. Murray's Sugar Free Chocolate Bites are tasty and not so heavy on the thighs. Murray's cookies come in 6 pouches per box and 80 calories per pouch. It's total fat levels are 2.5 grams and 3 grams of dietary fiber.

Source: www.murraysugarfree.com

So, sit back and hang loose with these 5 impeccably scrumptious treats that leave you feeling blissful and not obligated to hit the gym right away.

This is a health story I've wrote for my health column for SMU. I just wanted to share it and it hasn't been edited.

The Secret

2010-10-04T19:14:00.000-10:00

Basically, in life we always desire things that we don't need and things that we only want because others have. But look here! This mystical book and documentary has me believing that whatever I want; I can get. This bizarre and beautiful "law of attraction" is what our mind and heart attracts into our lives.

The more I kept thinking about it, I could totally agree with what it was telling me. Whatever we keep thinking about, constantly thinking about, we attract. If I kept thinking about donuts then eventually, I'll get myself some donuts. If I kept thinking about negative things, I'll bring myself down therefore only attract negative situations because I'll be putting myself in my own mess. It's kind of like how a drug addict behaves. Once the drug addict get a hit, he feels relief and the feeling of satisfaction when he lets out his anger. So evidently, he's going to want more.

Honestly, from personal experience I can confidently say that this thing, this "law of attraction" really works. I've always wanted to get off of the island and experience new environments that were totally different from home. I did that.

I wanted to attend college in the states, somewhere that was totally different from home. I did that.

I wanted to get back into cheer. I did that.

I wanted to merge my two extremely opposite career goals. I did that.

Nothing is impossible. For God's sake, we went to the moon right?

Get out there and engulf the world. See what you need to see, do what you need to do. Dreams are there so we can fulfill them and we only have a short amount of time here on Earth so why not suck every bit of happiness and enchantment out of it?

Don't talk about it, just do it.

I've always thought that we have such big obligations that kept us from doing what we wanted to do. So many of my friends have had babies at a young age and those who were 4.0 GPA students ended up living in a broken down shack with their baby daddies. That's why I always thought that it's impossible for us as human beings to truly live because we can't live and fully experience life without being tied down.

But that's when I was wrong.

We have truly lived when we have seen everything that our little hearts most desired. We don't have to lose ourselves along the way. It's so short and precious.

There's nothing else left but to live.

The Secret Garden of Ballsy Decisions

2010-09-25T20:48:00.002-10:00

Fact 1: Ballsy indeed is a legitimate word, look it up.
Fact 2: Ballsy actually means--

adjective, balls·i·er, balls·i·est. Slang: Usually Vulgar .

boldly aggressive or courageous: a ballsy gal who isn't afraid of anyone.

Fact 3: One of the most important tools we need to acquire in life.

Here's the thing, there are times where we as humans, make really big mistakes and most of the time it's because of ballsy decisions. For example, I was watching Rob Dyrdek's Fantasy Factory on MTV2 and Big Cat (Rob's cousin) was riding on a skateboard while hanging on a motorcycle and decided to skate up a ramp. Unfortunately, he fell tragically and fractured his spine. This got me thinking; that was a very bad ballsy decision.

Some of us who are not so concerned with skateboarding might say, "We won't do anything dumb like that". But in reality, we probably make bigger and dumber ballsier decisions, only that it's outcome is not so catastrophic but more so on the subtle and everlasting death of our hopes, dreams and the rest of our lives. A good obnoxious example of a ballsy decision is jumping off a cliff into the clear blue ocean. You could die, but what the heck, let's chance it. Then there is a good example of what I call a "slow death of all deaths" ballsy decisions, which is to sign a loan contract without actually reading the material or committing to one person for the rest of your life.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan of love and life long happiness with a soul mate and whatever but there are times where deciding to commit can be categorized into a "slow death of all deaths" ballsy decision. Basically, to commit, two people must bend a wee bit for one another and sacrifice something in order to make their relationship work. Not so surprisingly, most of the time, it's usually one person bending a whole lot for the other person in order to make things work so the person whose doing the bending is basically giving up everything so that the other person can go on living and fulfilling his/her dreams.

Unfair. Totally unfair.

Who said that this must happen so that the world can be a happy place?
The world of physics?

Whatever it may be it's total bullshit.

Drifting away from current subject, let's retrace our steps and get back on track with ballsy decisions. Luckily, my recent ballsy decision had landed me an interview with an LFL player from Seattle Mist. This is a HUGE deal for me because I'm a big fan of Lingerie Football and it was an amazing opportunity for me to expand my genre of writing. Score!

You see folks, ballsy decisions can work out for the best or for the worst. The funny thing is that we all know this, it's elementary and yet we keep making the same damn mistakes. Why? Because we are human and humans are not perfect and we are not perfect because we act on behalf of our emotions. That's why life is filled with mysteries, folks.

SnapIt Screen Capture Version 3.7 Review

2010-09-11T07:25:00.002-10:00

Designed for Microsoft Windows XP, 2000, ME and 98, this is handy helper makes uploading pictures simple and stress-free!

Basically, SnapIt allows you to take a quick snap shot of anything that's up on your screen, whether it's a web page or your desk top background, the possibilities are endless. The software itself is easy to download and takes a surprisingly short amount of time to set up. It's objectives are pretty straight-forward, the SnapIt Screen Capture is designed to eliminate the precious time you waste trying to copy and paste an image to a Word Document or ineffectively upload a hyper link to show your designated audience a specific section of a website that is incapable of the copy and paste method.

The SnapIt Screen Capture is a great tool to have-- as a blogger myself the software is ideal for blogs-- especially if you struggle with uploading and cropping. To begin your snap shooting adventure, complete your download and a camera icon will appear on the bottom right corner of your screen next to the shown current time. Press the Prt Scr button on your keyboard and the your mouse arrow will turn into a plus sign and then just click away.

The Snapit software goes for $17.99, which is a fair deal for this product. The website, Digeus.com has a free 14 day trial period so you can play before you pay.

******(SnapIt Screen Capture) ******

http://www.digeus.com/products/snapit/snapit_screen_capture_3_5.html

After snapping the photo, right click the camera icon to save, if you don't want to keep saving after each photo, click on properties to change your saving preferences.

So here comes the bad part; as a first time user the actual snapping of the photo can be tricky, after pressing the Prt Scr button the mouse arrow turns into a plus sign to signal that you are ready to snap your shot. However, there aren't any boarders to show you what you are taking a photo of. You could be aiming at a certain paragraph of a website but the photo would be couple inches to the left of the desired paragraph, catching only half of it.

The single flaw of this product is nothing compared to it's fast and painless approach to introducing a whole new way of photo uploads. It's wonderful features and easy to use guides will surprise you like the effectiveness of multivitamin gummies. Soon, it'll become an essential part of your daily life.

Here's a tip! Digeus.com is giving away freebies if you create
a review in any blog/forum/twitter/facebook, etc, about SnapIt! Contact them and get your free SnapIt!

The Secret Garden of the Secret Garden

2010-02-12T00:06:00.000-10:00

I write these thinking that no one is really reading them, I mean there are so many blogs out there, no one is going to read mine. Actually, I think that's what makes it easier for me to write because I feel like I'm still venting about whatever I'm upset about or what thoughts I have and it wont cause any damage.

Most of the time I'm at a loss of words, it's like everything that I was thinking about, everything that I wanted to write about just disappears from my mind. Totally.Blank.

What is the purpose of The Secret Garden? It was so that people can read about things that happen to me or people around me.Then sit and think "Huh, I think something like that happened to me earlier" or maybe even, "i so know what she's talking about." Then they'll contribute their ideas, thoughts, crappy things that has happened to them that they never really got over or something amazingly awesome that has happened to them that they feel like they need to share with the whole world or they'll burst into tiny molecular pieces in .9754 seconds.

I guess there really isn't anything "secretive" about The Secret Garden, just the fact that it's called The Secret Garden. Maybe it's kind of secretive.. I don't know. But just imagine, how awesome it would feel that whatever you are going through, the tough times, the embarassing things that happened to you at school, all of that were happeneing to someone else. And the way they handled that situation was much better than how you handled it.
Cool huh?

The Secret Garden is not an obligation, it's always going to be here. I'll feel the need to visit it once in a while and catch up with Old Reliable.

Black Hole

2010-01-20T00:21:00.001-10:00

Everyone has a black hole, whether it's a big one or a fairly small one it's implanted in their heart. It's something that can't be healed but only replaced with other some what meaningless, materialistic objects. It's temporary.
What's your black hole?

What about the time you realized that your father bailed on you just before you were born?
What about the time when you first met him when you turned 8?
Was it everything you expected it to be?

What about the time when all the men in your life have done everything else except treat you the way you should be treated?

It's unfair.
It's all in the past yet you can't forgive, therefore it still posseses you, controls you and brings you back down to that miserable self you once were before. Is it your fault that these memories haunt you at night or maybe it's no one's fault at all. Maybe it was meant to happen to make you stronger, to prepare you for all the good that are meant to come your way, or maybe you are just that unlucky.

Does all of this make you a weak person?

Is that why you can't sleep at night?

The Secret Garden of being a college student

2010-01-15T14:15:00.000-10:00

What's the deal with FAFSA anyway?
The fact that there are so many damn papers to fill out is just mind blowingly annoying. I'm sure every student knows that picking a major is a pretty tough thing to do because if you are undecided and just taking random ass classes, then obviously your tuition money was for nothing.

One of the tougher scenarios is when parents pressure their kids to do what they want them to do. Just because their occupation is a doctor doesn't mean their kids are meant to be one too. For example, my mother swears that I was born to be an acupuncturist and I have a "talent" or a "gift" or whatever, it's kind of hard to understand her in English because I have no idea what the hell she is saying. When it's fricken obvious that acupuncture is something that I don't wanna do, I mean I guess it's cool to stick numerous needles in people but after a year and a half of working around it, I'm sick of looking at old people's asses. Seriously, it's not even about the elderly's asses, it's just asses in general.

My ideal career would be to write for a health magazine or some sort, in my home office, the snow piling up on my windowpane, a cup of awesome, kick ass coffee next to my laptop and a dog. Okay, scratch what I said about the dog, maybe a cat. Or just no animals in general and my sweetheart in the kitchen making me breakfast. End of story.

Not to fucking look at bare, wrinkly asses for the rest of my life.

The sad part about this is that it's totally possible for me to do this, but I'm way too scared to disappoint my mother.

Ah..

Rats..

The Secret Garden of crap that girls do to torture their men

2010-01-14T15:59:00.001-10:00

Yes, things have been rough and I was gone for a while but I'm back. Still marching on whether people read this crap or not. Well, I won't necessarily call it crap because it's my thoughts and beliefs that I share in this blog.

I've recently resigned from the Kapio and is not currently just filling the spaces in this blog with stuff that happened to me in between those times. Make sense? For fun, I guess?

There is something that I want to share with all of you and it's connected to the huge earthquake that happened in Haiti not too long ago. I was driving to school one morning with the radio on, I heard a super romantically sad story of an American woman who went to Haiti couple years ago to do volunteer service work. She was trapped under couple feet of concrete and to her surprise she was rescued by her husband. Talk about knight in shinning armor. Seriously.

Only if our everyday lives were like that, right?

Listening to that made me think about my boyfriend and how I should cherish him more because one day, Oahu will have a gigantic earthquake and I will be trapped under couple feet of grass and mangoes and I won't be able to see him ever again. That's a really sad thought.
OK, for real this time. It made me realize how easily we take our loved ones for granted and how short and cruel life can be. Fortunately, this woman was rescued but thousands of others were not.

Even something small that people do for us, like when our boyfriends hold our purses during sidewalk sales. Those acts of kindness are rarely thanked for and vaguely remembered because we are programmed to believe that when people reach a certain level in a relationship or just because they are this or that, it's their responsibility to do such things for us. Another example; toilet seats. Who made it a rule that they are meant to stay up? Who made it a rule that guys have to put the seat down for us girls? Maybe the girls should stop bitching about the toilet seat not being down for their convenience and put that shit up once in a while for the fellas. Just a thought.

It's understandable if the boyfriend is an asshole and expects way too much from the girl, then yeah, fuck em and don't do shit for him. But when your guy is a sweetheart, it doesn't hurt to watch ESPN once in a while with a fatty homemade chicken salad sandwich to keep him company.

OK, I know I'm defending the guys way too much here but maybe girls screw each other over by sticking with these rules and shit that apparently is like "the law" in relationships. Women feed each other with useless stereotypical analysis of the "different types of men" and we screw ourselves over by listening to it and believing that all [fill in the blank] guys are all [fill in the blank]. Then when women "take a chance" and date these men, in the back of their mind they feel like they have to be in control of the relationship and be aware of what those kind of men are known for.

That's why men say that we are crazy.

In reality we are just too bloody brilliant for our own kind.

Therefore giving off the image that we are crazy.

When you think about it, it all makes sense.

It's it funny?

All of these thoughts came to mind just because of that 45 second news break on the radio.

The Secret Garden of fooling ourselves

2009-12-06T01:09:00.003-10:00

I guess at some point in our lives it's going to get tough and we are going to want to give in to the easy way out - leaving, walking out, quitting, whatever you want to call it. That one point in our lives where everything we worked for and everything that we were holding on to is no longer a priority. Then we tend to drift off and behave in certain ways that we would have never dreamed of doing, whether we are looking for a way out from the bottom of that wine glass or brainwashing ourselves into thinking that the mountain we are climbing now has no downhill, so there is no point in pushing on.

When things get so hard we misbehave and become our alter ego, just someone that's totally 180 degrees from who we really are. Because we don't want to face what's in front of us, what we have to wake up to every morning and the unsatisfactory thoughts we have towards the circumstances that we are living in, it blinds us from how we truly feel. To me it's like losing weight, we try and try but there are no results being shown. Then we get disappointed and discouraged because we are not patient enough for the weight to come off. We have an image of how we imagine ourselves to look in the mirror when we are skinny but every time we look in the mirror the person staring back at us don't fit the image.

In my opinion, leaving behind our lives to start fresh is the definition of lust. Thinking about that reset button rushes adrenaline through our veins and got us fantasizing about how our lives can be molded into perfection. However, perfection does not exist. There is a difference between cutting out what we don't want from our lives and chasing after something that we want right now but won't be needing later; like trends.

If we followed trends we will never be able to have our own sense of style and individualism. We won't be comfortable in our own skin, we'll just have to continuously change our look to make ourselves feel like we are fitting in with society.

Instead of correcting the way we think we try to replace the parts of our lives that define who we are. Like the people who love us when times are hard with people who we think that will love us more when times are hard and thoughts of "if I stick it out through this rough time it's going to make me stronger" with thoughts of "if I leave now I won't have to deal with this anymore."

Now the big decision is how do we know if staying with our current situations is the right path to take and what if, just what if, things would have been better for us if we did leave everything behind?

The Secret Garden of getting into the holiday spirit

2009-11-28T10:45:00.003-10:00

READY OR NOT, HERE COMES THE HOLIDAYS!!

What's more great than our birthdays, carnival rides and the first day of summer?

THE HOLIDAYS!!!!

It's the most jolliest time of the year! The turkey and stuffing, red stockings and reruns of Christmas specials all day long, it's the time of giving and being with our loved ones. The decorations and awesome sales at the mall, everything about it just makes our hearts melt. So how can we prepare for the festivities? Here are some suggestions on how to get into the holiday spirit and also my personal tips on how I get myself ready for the big 25!

1. Decorations.... and lots of it!

My inspiration was the movie Elf with Will Ferrel as the human Christmas elf. In the movie, he decorates the mall into a white winter land, everything made of cotton, paper and possibly maple syrup. I love to decorate by myself because I like to decorate it the way I like it but decorating is more fun with other people. Stick a popcorn in the microwave, a couple of sodas and let the magic begin! What I found really useful was printable Christmas decorations, I googled "Christmas coloring pages" and with a click a whole list popped up on my screen. Santa Claus, Rudolph, Elves you name it! After coloring it I cut it out and stuck them all over the house, yes, it's a bit cheesy and kind of kiddish but I had a great time! Also there are loads of ideas on Christmas decorating online such as Christmas lanterns and printable gingerbread houses. Decorations don't have to be expensive, of course there are the traditional decorations; the Christmas tree, the lights, the yard decorations but I found it more fun and meaningful to make the decorations myself.

2. Christmas movies and specials + Couch + Snacks = Love

When December nears the television stations play hours of Christmas movies and shows every day, it's nice to sit back on the couch, feet up, cuddled up in our favorite blanket that just feels so smooth (or a snuggie, I don't judge) and unwind while our minds are fed with cartoons, jolly songs and Will Ferrel running in tights while eating cotton balls. Yup, that's the life.

3. Sing your heart out.

Who cares if it's still November? Go and bring out last year's Christmas CD and play it in your car, play it loud, play it proud! It doesn't even have to be in the car, play it in the office, download it to the ipod, listen to "Rudolph the Red nosed reindeer" while you jog, heck, turn up that boom box playing "Frosty the Snowman" while walking the block with that swagger. To make this look really work, tie a bandanna around your forearm, forehead and stick it in your back pocket while fashioning a wifebeater and baggy blue jeans with raggy white shoes. Oh, don't forget your "I Believe in Santa" pin!

4. Last but not least, presents!

They don't even have to be big or expensive, what really counts is the sentimental value it holds. For my sister she poared her heart into the wrapping, she would wrap it with sparkly wrapping paper and made the bow herself. You know the ones from stores where it's nice and curly with a big flower looking bow? She spent hours wrapping them and she really enjoyed it. Not once have I ever seen her do a half ass job on a present.

YAY CHRISTMAS!

It's what counts :]

The Secret Garden of past friendships

2009-11-24T15:49:00.014-10:00

friend-ships
/ˈfrɛndʃɪp/

1.	the state of being a friend; association as friends: to value a person's friendship.

2.	a friendly relation or intimacy.

3.	friendly feeling or disposition.

The foot prints left behind by the people we've encountered are numerous and most of them fade after a short time, but what happens when those foot prints come back? What happens when forgotten friendships come bursting in our lives once more just like the ghost of Christmas past?

The feelings we felt, the smiles we shared, the stupid things that we did flashes through our minds like the silver surfer from Fantastic 4. The smooth sail of long lost memories take us back to the school yard, the cafe on the corner and to the days when we promised to be there for each other. But while this ship is in motion, we drift away from what's keeping us grounded-- reality.

Everything is destined to change, we can't stop it or slow it down but to realize that it's happening. Old memories do that to us, it implants a small piece of hope to make us think that even though 5, 10, 15 years has passed that person will remain the same. It hypnotizes us to forget what years of separation can do to a person. All we can think about is how great it'll be to be reunited and pick up where we left off, to revive the friendship that was once believed to be dead.

Just as much as a person's feature change, so does their personalities, their values and hobbies. Things we once had in common with them may have changed. The sad part of it all is the fact that the comfort we found in that person and the memories that remind us of how carefree our lives once were are dismantled. Like an old picture that's discolored and cracked on the edges.
Unless the picture is constantly looked at and taken care of we won't be able to notice the changes it goes through. If we have it close to our hearts and hold it once in a while, we'll be able to witness the small nicks and tears that happens to it over the years instead of seeing them all at once to realize that it's a damaged picture. If observed frequently the changes the picture goes through are not as noticeable to us.

Does that mean we should grasp tight around our friends when it's our time to say our good-byes? No, definitely no. If it's their time to stray away from our lives then it's their time to go. I look at it as a part of a cycle, friends come and go but if they were meant to be in our lives they'll always return to us like a boomerang but if they don't, then maybe they weren't meant to be with us from the start. That's no reason for us to stop going on with our lives and focus on that particular person, it means we need to move on and better ourselves with the lessons they taught us, the smiles they brought us but most importantly those precious memories that we can look back on when we encounter rough climbs throughout our lifetime.

"What is a friend? A single soul in two bodies."
- Aristotle

Our acquaintances, friends and best friends.. If they were meant to be our companions, they are still here or will return to us when the time is right, but if they didn't return, maybe they weren't meant to be with us after all.

The Secret Garden of uneasy vacations pt2 - pictures

2009-11-18T09:22:00.014-10:00

Jon-- we were dropping off Sue at the airport when we realized it's only her and Jon (with the lei) going off to boot camp but none of his family members came to say bye. So we hugged him and told him to kick ass. And brought him Hawaii snacks and lei.

After graduation.

waiting at the outdoor stadium for the graduation ceremony to begin, it was 45 degrees with wind and light drizzles of rain. We waited almost 2 hours for it to begin. The soldiers were standing on the field longer than us.

-- A dinner at Olive Garden after the graduation, my sister and her friends, their families, and us. It took us about 2 and a half hours to find Olive Garden.

Mac, Orange, Kline, and I'm sorry I don't remember all the names. At Olive Garden

--After family day ceremony.

I ran into a friend of mine that I knew since 8th grade, didn't know he was in boot camp with my sister. We brought lei and snacks for him too but didn't get a chance to give it to him.

Being reunited... Very first time seeing her and it was emotional-- she lost a lot of weight and her voice was hoarse.

The Secret Garden of uneasy vacations

2009-11-12T16:47:00.001-10:00

It's November 13th 2009, my heart feels heavy and my mind a blur. Today was my sister's graduation from basic training, the whole reason why my mother and I flew 16 and a half hours. When I first saw her yesterday at family day, I couldn't even recognize her; she looked amazing, dignified unlike the old image of her. So here is the story..

November 12th 2009.
We woke up at 6:30am, we felt rushed because we wanted to leave the hotel at 7am, get breakfast downstairs and head on towards Fort Jackson by 7:30am. We left the hotel at 7:25am and realized my ID was missing, so we rushed back to the hotel with my mother running red lights and zooming through stop signs. I got my ID and reached Fort Jackson by 8am, we realized that we can't see her until 1030am so we sat at BurgerKing and killed 30 minutes, then we parked in front of Solomon Center; which is where the family day ceremony was held and where she would be meeting us, and sat there until 9:30am. it was 45 degrees out side with rain and wind so it felt much colder.
When it was time, we headed in and saw the Charlie company (my sister's company) and the Delta company do a little ceremony-- their song that they sang when they marched. It was so crowded and of course people laughed at me when I screamed "CHHHHEEEHOOOO". For those of you who don't know, that's Hawaii's version of "OOOWWWWW".
I saw her and I couldn't believe my eyes, she was a totally different person. My eyes filled with uncontrollable tears and my nose started to run, my heart beating fast and all I can think was "Oh my gosh, I'm so proud of her."
We met her friend; Faith Klein (I don't remember the spelling) and I saw an old friend, took pictures and met all of her new family. It was a day filled with joy, laughter, tears and hugs. Until I remembered that we have to tell her about grandma. Then my day became up and down with emotional roller coaster rides. We spent that day shopping for necessities, Fort Jackson is so huge that many people including us got lost, they even have a water park in there! We were going to tell her about grandma's passing but she was with all of her friends; we just didn't have the heart to tell her. That night we said our good-byes and sent her back to her barracks.
She texted me directions and knowing my sister, she was worried we'll get lost or not make it on time. I took her advice to heart and made sure we were prepared.

November 13th 2009. Graduation
This day is the day that I'll never forget in my life. It was a privilage for me to attend this event and I'm so greatful that I got to witness this honorable day. The graduation was moved out doors due to the surprisingly amount of families that showed up, at 48degrees we sat on metal bleachers, waiting anxiously until our soldiers made their way. They stood on the field for 1 hour and 30 minutes until the ceremony began, they looked so cold that I wanted to run over there and give her my jacket. The marching band's music started off the soldiers march towards us, the ceremony was short but really sweet. The graduates made their way towards us and I was so proud of every single one of them, even though I have never met them ever in my life, I was proud of them. I saw her marching in front of me and I screamed my butt off.
We ended up going to a book store to get some books for her and her friends, and we got lost on our way to Olive Garden, we wasted 3 hours trying to find it and almost 2 hours at the restraunt.
I was so upset that we had to go there because we wanted to spend it with her alone. My sister still didn't know about grandma so we wanted to rush back to the hotel and spend the last hours we had with her talking about our experiences. We had to take her back at 8:30pm and we left the hotel at 5:30pm. We starting driving on the freeway and realized that we don't recognize any land marks or road signs. We were trying to go to Two Notch Rd but ended up in a dark, scary split road in the middle of no where. 8 o'clock was nearing and we had no idea where to go or where to ask for help. My sister needed to get back in order to go to her AIT in Texas. Usually my sister would blame everyone for getting the directions wrong, curse at the driver, yell that we don't know what we are doing and just freak out before anything happened. But she stayed calm, when she panicked she picked herself up and made sure we got some help, she called 911 and asked for directions, if we can make it back on time, called her sargeant and explained our situation.
Totally different person; a soldier.
We eventually ended up finding our way back to the hotel and we packed her luggage with food and clothes that we brought from home. Then she picked up an envelope of pictures and said "What's this?"
Her next words were "Oh my god"
And the tears came racing down her cheeks. She said she had a feeling that something was wrong but she didn't want to believe it. We explained to her briefly about what happened, what we saw, smelt and experienced.
She apologized, "Maybe I shouldn't have gone to the military then maybe things would have been easier for you mom."
We spent a short amount of time mourning, it stopped when my sister dried her tears and held us tight. Her warmth still lingers in my arms, my neck and my forehead. I never realized how tiny she was, her hands smaller than mine, her height shorter than mine and her face much slimmer than mine. That tiny little thing went to the army, something that we never thought would happen, and she made it.

That's when I realized how much the Army has changed her, she's someone that I can't even recognize. This trip was worth the ride, even with the annoying kid who kept kicking my seat and my mom's bad driving, everything was worth it. The bad meals, the 7 hour rest I had since tuesday, the stress about leaving behind work and school, everything was worth it. Before she left to the Army, I was so mad at her, she was always picking fights, saying mean things, blowing up on people and just being crazy. After she left and I was filling in for her job, I experienced first hand what it felt like and I too, became that person.
I realzed how much I missed her and how much my life would be incomplete without her, especially after my grandmother's death. And how proud of I am to be her sister and to have a sister like her, who would go to the Army to support her family, she's had such a hard life and I understand how difficult life has been for her. I miss her terribly and I await that day til I get to see her again.

The Secret Garden of a superwoman

2009-11-05T14:43:00.004-10:00

One day I sat down to watch this show called The Secret Life of Women and it was absolutely bizarre! They are ordinary looking women who live out of the ordinary lives. Then it got me thinking about my own mother, how was her life?

She came to Hawaii with nothing to her name and two daughters to take care of. I remember I used to stay up til 10 at night until she came home so I can see her, I went to school at 8 in the morning while she went to work at 9am. I was only 8 years old so I went to bed early, but if I didn't stay up to see her i would be able to see her at all. She went to work and studied to become an acupuncturist, a career that was forced upon her by her husband at the time who only planned to use her brains to do the work while he counted the money. About 6 months after we landed in Hawaii she dominated the house and was obligated to start paying bills. Her work didn't pay her; it was more like an internship. With a troubled head over her shoulders she decided that she needs to finish her studies in order to put food on the table. About 3 years later she graduated with her masters degree in Oriental Medicine and Acupuncture, she actually graduated a year early because she was the only student in her school to have scored a perfect 100 on her license exam. Her professors begged her to stay longer thinking that she will fail- how was this middle aged Korean women who can barely speak English pass this difficult exam in English?

But she did it.

I can't ever forget the time she told me about her exam day.
She went to the gas station on her way to the exam, about 6:30pm, it was raining hard and she was in such a rush to get there that she forgot her wallet at the gas station. Half way to the school she turned the car around to look for her wallet; no where to be found. All of her credit cards, ID and information was there. But she still decided to take her test, if she didn't she would have to wait another year to take it. She walked through the doors and the exam has already begun, all the other students were half way done with their exams.

She sat down in an empty seat and was soon approached by her professor, "You don't have to do this, you can do it later. Or you can take this in Korean." She shook her head and said that she will take the exam in English and she will take it now.

My mother sat her things down next to her and looked at her test; tears went racing down her cheeks when she couldn't remember the things that she's been studying so hard for so long.

The next part was a blur, she remembers being the last to turn in her test and the professors waited for her to finish.

She was the only one out of everyone else that got a perfect score and she took in English language.

I am so proud of her and the only regret I have is that I wish I took more pictures of her graduation.

I have always considered her my superwoman, no matter what came her way to break her down she stood her ground. In my eyes she was unstoppable, unbeatable and immortal. There was nothing that she couldn't do. Now she has her own clinic that she's always dreamed of and today she had her first interview for the KHON2 news station about alternative ways of swine flu prevention. To know that I am her daughter, that I have her blood running through my veins brings me great courage; that I too, will overcome any obstacles that come along my way.

We are all superwomen inside, whether we are recognized by our good deeds and miraculous achievements or be thanked by our family members, we are superwomen.

The Secret Garden of ex-boyfriends we despise

2009-11-03T10:44:00.002-10:00

At first they just blow us away with the numerous amount of red roses, romantic dinners, late night car rides to look at stars, the complements on our outfits, the shopping sprees, the hugs and kisses, then BAM! They show their true self.

The unshaved faces, burping, farting, yelling, the never ending demands for food, showing us off in front of their friends, the mood swings, constantly telling us to stop our whining (which we don't), yelling at us to change our outfits because he doesn't want other guys to stare, their clingyness, the check-up-on-you phone calls every half hour when we out with our girlfriends, the "why aren't you texting me back" text messages, and the damn TV permanently playing ESPN.

The loving, caring guy we fell in love with just fades away along with the feelings we had for them so the fighting begins and so do the childish games. Eventually after a long, brutal war it ends, it all ends.

I definitely had my share of bad boyfriends and in the end I don't ever regret the experiences I had with them because if they didn't treat me badly, I would have never known what a good, healthy relationship will feel like.

One time when breaking up with a boyfriend I told him that I felt like he behaved differently when we are alone and when we are with his friends, that I felt like he was only nice to me when we were wit his friends and he was really loving in front of them. These were his words "I don't know like, all the guys they act like I can't get one chick and like they all tell me that you're hot and I want to show them like hey I can get one hot chick and like she stay with me."
SO.... what the hell does that mean?

It hit me hard because I liked him a lot but he only considered me as a trophy girlfriend. And honestly, I should have known that he was a jerk when all his guy friends made it a game to see if they can steal me away from him.

I realized that the people that he liked to surround himself around speaks for themselves. Not one of them were descent, they all were into drinking and partying. At one point I had to sit in a car while his friend drove me home while intoxicated. Of course at 16 I had no car so he was my only way of getting home, then he decides to drop me off home last even though my house was closer than everyone else's house. It's really frightening to sit in a car with a drunk guy who kept trying to make passes at me, because he was intoxicated I wasn't sure if he was going to hit me.

Now that I look back on it, all of my ex-boyfriends were jerks and so immature.

I mean, what's wrong with the way we dress? If I wear a V-neck all hell breaks loose. There's yelling and cussing, but that's nothing compared to the fights that we girls have to have with them when we wear skirts. We are not stupid, we are not going to sit with our legs open! Why is it that guys get so angry when we wear shorts but we don't yell at them for walking around with their shirts off. IT'S THE SAME THING!!

Another time, I had this ex-boyfriend who kept walking around with his shirt off, wherever we went, there it went- his shirt went flying off up over his head and to his back seat. Even to the mall, or to Safeway. Then he would yell at me for wearing a shirt that made my boobs look big. Okay damn it I have boobs, deal with it. I couldn't understand at the time but when we broke up he said that most of the time he felt like he wasn't getting enough attention so he felt like he had to tone me down.

Why is it that I kept going out with losers with low self esteem?

I don't consider myself to be overly good looking or talented, I'm average, ordinary and I like that.

I left Korea when I was about 8 years old so I attended 1st grade for about a month there, on my first day of school I had a traumatic incident where I had to go use the girl's room and two boys from my school followed me to the bathroom and tackled me to the floor. One of them jumped on top of me and tried to kiss me or whatever he was trying to do and his friend was holding me down. So once in a while I still get scared that someone will tackle me in a bathroom.

Ever since then I didn't want to be noticed or seen, I went though a tomboy phase for god sakes. I wore boy jeans and t-shirts.

The past relationships that we all had that were horrible was actually a blessing in disguise, we learned, matured and it made us realize that there are bigger and better fishes out there. That even though we get hurt and we can't get back up quickly, we will be okay.

Better than okay, we'll be Grrrrreeeaaaaat!

ENOURJANGOUS THANKS TO EVERYONE!

2009-10-28T23:51:00.002-10:00

i really want to thank everyone who read my blogs and said some really nice thing about it. To me it's an outlet to channel my feelings and thoughts based on the events that occur in my life and has occurred in my life but you all took it to the heart. I really appreciate all the support.
It encourages me to write more and more.

Once again, thank you so very much. The simple sentences like "You are an amazing writer" and "You have a talented way of expressing your thoughts and feelings" really keeps me full with gratitude that I'm about to explode!

Last week has been really tough and this week is even harder.

So my mother and I would like to thank everyone who comforted us and assured us that things will be okay, we are touched by your kindness. Every day we get home we think about everything you all have done for us and it keeps us going.

We love and care for you all so very much and thank you. From the bottom of our hearts.

A COLUMN TO SHARE

2009-10-27T12:17:00.006-10:00

--this is just a column I wrote a while ago but didn't get published, it was something that I really wanted to share and discuss.

Rotten Apple of the Heart; pick it now or let it devour the soul

By: Sunnie Kim
STAFF WRITER

Growing up I barely had any problems with bullies or being picked on, I always watched by when a friend was getting pushed upon and sometimes stepped in when it got too rough. I never witnessed someone get severely injured so punishing the bully never crossed my mind until recently I heard about my co- worker’s son being bullied.

Jack* is in the 7th grade and couple days ago he was late coming home from school so when my co-worker asked why he was late he merely recognized his mother and ran upstairs. Later she found out that he got beaten by a school bully that afternoon at a bus stop when Jack* refused to give him his allowance money. At dinner that night Jack* refused to eat because he couldn’t chew; his two bottom back teeth was broken on his right side. His explanation for the incident was that he missed the bus so while he was waiting the bully came and threatened him for his money. When he replied that he doesn’t have any on him the bulldozer clobbered him and ran off. In a panic, Jack* walked back to his school and washed out his bloody mouth at the nearest water fountain then caught the next bus home. Jack also told his parents that this isn’t the first time this has happened; for many months the bully would throw him around during recess, verbally abuse him and it came no surprise to me that he’s bullied other students also.

The next day Jack and his dad went to the school and the police came. After filing a police report, the police asked other students if they have been harassed also and came to a conclusion that they will do further research on the boy when they couldn’t get in touch with his father upon Jack’s request. The question is, should the school and police leave all the decisions to the 12 year old? I believe that the school should take the initiative and do the background search with or without his request because what if he is being abused at home and learned to take out his anger on other kids?

Of course Jack* is going to say that he doesn’t want to take any action because he’s just a 12 year old and he’s scared. That’s why the police needs to step in and assign the bully to attend mandatory psychotherapy sessions. If the kid can beat up another classmate that badly and have the nerve to lie about it, he should be put into therapy. Lastly, the fact that he’s a minor shouldn’t excuse him from getting punishment, give him community service at least! Detention and suspension is not enough, an authoritative action needs to be taken or else he’s going to think that he can get away with beating kids up. Something needs to be done and it needs to be done now.

The Secret Garden of losing a grandparent

2009-10-25T21:00:00.004-10:00

The phrase "Never forget where you come from" really has a deeper meaning. When we forget where we come from we forget who we are, where our features came from and where we are most ourselves at.

Recently I flew back to my home land where I was born and raised by my grandparents until I was 7 years old, my mother and I received news that my grandmother was in the emergency room in critical condition. Until I got there it never really hit me that she was in a bad condition, the moment we got off the plane we zoomed off to the hospital. There I greeted my poor grandfather who was drowned in tears and I walked in to the room where my grandma was. Her body was covered under a thin blanket which only showed an outline of her; her stomach was extremely over sized and her body was so fragile that just by grazing her arm I felt like I was causing her enormous amount of pain. Her left hand was black and swollen, I could see the marks left over from the stabbing of needles, little drops of blood was trickling down slowly under the saran wrap like material that was holding the needle in place.

It felt different to see her that way, my grandmother was a strong person, a person who never gave in to pain and always held on for the very last fight, she was a trooper, a fighter, she was my hero.

The doctor said that she was unconscious and she showed no signs of movement but when we stood by her bedside and told her that we were here she moved her left hand and tapped mine. Just like when she tapped my mom's hand with her left foot when she told her that she was here to see her.

As I sit in my room reminiscing the memories of my time with her I have a lot of regrets, how I could have been more nice to her, spend more time with her, call her every Sundays, and involve her more in my life are all the things that I could have done. One thing I know I did correctly was telling her that I love her, every time I called her, I told her that I love her because I had a friend who always told her mom that she loved her when they hung up the phone. She wasn't a very good friend but she taught me something; tomorrow is unpredictable so express our love for the ones we secretly care for the most so that way when they leave our side they know how we felt about them.

I gained so much knowledge about myself from this experience, that being an adult is not as glamorous as it's advertised to be. Being an adult meant holding my grandfather while he shed his tears, being a shoulder to cry on for my mother, accompanying the adults as we held my grandmother's icy cold body for the last time, seeing the limp lifeless body that's supposed to be censored for the young eyes, watch helplessly as they slid my grandmother's corpse into the cremation oven, and being in front row to see her bronze skeleton row out of the chamber after the process. Being an adult meant there was no mercy for the eyes, I had to endure the raw images along with the cruel reality of death. Being an adult meant giving empty hugs and kisses to those who never cared from the start and biting my tongue when I wanted to curse them for faking their tears. For my young age at 18 I saw what most people can only see in movies, it was painful but it helped me mature.

So remembering where we came from is an important thing to remember. My hair, eyes and body structure came from my grandmother. Her silky smooth hair stood out like a sore thumb in the old pictures, the complements I get on my features are all thanks to her.

Before I left Korea I promised her that I'm not going to cry anymore, crying will just drain my energy and only bring sadness. I promised to stand tall with my chin up and keep marching forward, to live the life that was given to me by mother, and accomplish everything that I want to accomplish. I promised to make her proud and show everyone that this is who I am and that I can be even more, I am my grandmother's granddaughter and she raised me to be the best I can be. To not let my tongue spit poison but let my actions rise above those who try to bring me down.

Yes, I've learned a lot from my grandmother's passing and like I mentioned before.. time is a precious, precious thing. Time will not wait and it will not show compassion. time will ride on without accommodation. Which is why within this short period of time that we have here on Earth we must grasp the moment, live every second to our fullest and give our all at everything we do.

My grandmother's death was unavoidable, it was going to happen now or later. But I truly feel that it gave me a new perspective on life. I still have a lot more years to go and I'm going to live it well.

The Secret Garden of losing loved ones

2009-10-19T14:43:00.007-10:00

It's 10:48pm and I will be boarding tomorrow at 12 noon to Korea to see my grandma. I never lost a loved one before, well actually someone so close to me before. So such thoughts like "Is she going to be okay?" and "I wonder how she looks like?" keeps running through my head like a NIKE commercial. Usually I like to keep these kind of things private but I decided to share this experience with those who have not yet lost someone.

The tremendous amount of fear is the very first thing that runs through my veins, mainly because I honestly don't know how it will feel. My boyfriend's grandfather passed away and I was there to comfort him and tell him that he's in a better place. Of course I couldn't fully understand what he was feeling or how to comfort him because I have never had a family member or anyone pass away.

I have lost many people, not in that kind of sense but in other ways. I've lost numerous friends to drugs, alcohol addiction and even prostitution. Growing up I saw first hand how a person sways and fall down the wrong path.

My best friend in 6th grade was a real goody two shoes, she never cursed and she NEVER littered. One time we gotten into a really big fight due to my careless littering of a gum wrapper, for god's sake it's a gum wrapper. She came from a descent Hawaiian family, they were tight and always cared for one another. They were well mannered, respectful and very understanding. Her parents always set the best examples possible for her and she followed very well. Then slowly she began to feel low and restless thinking that people hate her. She had a very small flaw, she had a tear drop size of a mole on her ear that was easily covered up by her long black hair. This never bothered me, I didn't find it gross or anything. But the other girls who I hung out with thought differently.

I socialized with girls who mainly cared about their looks rather than the grades they got on their exams, that cared more about who's dating who and what designer brand was most popular that season. So when we started to reach that point in our lives where there was rivalry between girls, they attacked the most vulnerable from the herd.

Boy, did they tear her apart, they played dirty and always got away with it. No matter how hard I tried to defend her and make the other girls see that she's no different that any of us, they ganged up on her even more. So eventually she did "bad" things to fit in. The last I heard was that she was selling herself on the corner to get cash for heroine. Her mother called me and said i was forbidden from seeing her ever again, and just like that my best friend was taken away from me.

This is just one of the stories I wanted to share about how I lost my closest friend throughout the short years of my life. And none of them compares to the thought of losing my only grandmother. i know there are many others out there who wishes that they had more time with the ones that they've lost and I my heart goes out to them. I wish I had more time to love and appreciate her, I wish I spent more time with her when I had the chance.

Lesson learned: Never underestimate the importance of time. Time is like reefs in the ocean and the innocence planted in children. It's something that goes unnoticed, it's beauty is subtle and silent. It's even more precious than the 7 wonders of the world and the generations of mankind. If used wisely, time can be used to experience every experience, achieve the unachievable, believe in the unbelievable, and live the very life that was given to us to its magnificent best.
Without it, the joy we feel, the sadness we learn to endure, the hope we forever hold in our hearts, and the love we express for others are all meaningless. I ask myself "How can we do all of this without time?"

We can't.

The Secret Garden of working over time and emergency patients

2009-10-17T09:57:00.007-10:00

The date was October 15th 2009, the time was 4:00pm, location: acupuncture clinic.
When I took this job I never thought that I would be stuck after hours with an emergency patient, squeezing puss and tissues out of a patient's stomach for 3 hours.

Patient comes in at 4:00pm, sits down in the waiting area and leaves to the bathroom then I hear a desperate yelling coming from the bathroom. I bring in the doctor to the bathroom and when she got there, there was puss everywhere, on the floor, the door handle, the trashcan, just everywhere. He suffered from a long term disease which imitated colitis, which is a inflammation of the colon that causes diarrhea, abdominal pain, painful bowl movements, etc..
His lower stomach was hard, he looked about 6 feet and weighed less than 110 lbs, so he had a very thin frame but with a rock solid lower stomach that stuck out like a pregnant woman's belly.

No one knew what it was, his doctors has given up and concluded that he might not be able to make it. So eventually he came to our clinic looking for help, he took our herbal medicine and the inflammation started to worsen. We found out that the thing that was in his stomach was years and years of puss that has built up by the bacterias that was living in his body. The puss eventually became solid and expanded, so the herbal medicine liquefied it and the skin was no longer able to hold it; so it exploded.

We spent 4 hours tending to the patient and placing tissues under him so the puss can flow out, we didn't even squeeze it most of the time and it came out. The most painful part was when a tissue or the root of the problem; the bacteria chunks were exposed and the acupuncture doctor had to pull it out of his 6 mm diameter hole in his stomach. It was definitely disturbing, the smell lingered around the clinic until the next day, half a gallon of Clorox did the trick I must say. So we spent from 4 in the afternoon til 7 in the evening and I stayed until 8pm sanitizing and cleaning.

<--Yes, that is a picture of me taking a 2 minute break, the picture was taken by my boyfriend who waited 4 hours to take me home. Thanks babe. I took pictures of the whole mess but I wont post it because it might traumatize the readers. At the end of the day I was exhausted, I had a paper to write and when I got home after a short dinner it was already 10pm. That's when the tears came, having two jobs going to school full time and this was just the cherry on top. Anyone who is going to school and working will feel my pain. There is that point in our lives where our everyday routine becomes too much and we need a break, but what happens when the break doesn't come?

The lives we live are not picture perfect but bitching about it wont do us any good either. I learned to accept the situations as they come and if there is something that we can do about it to make it better, I should do it. But if there is no way out and we need to wait until things become smoother then we should. For a year now I've been complaining about how I am sacrificing so much for my family and nothing made me feel better until I realized it'll get better later. That doesn't mean I'm going to wait here like a fool for my "moment". No. It means if there is a way out but it's not due to be here until next year; I'll plan and set it to action when the time is due instead of forcing them to happen now.

Patience.. I'm learning it. Day by day.

The Secret Garden and That 70's Show

2009-10-16T23:41:00.004-10:00

It's an obsession and it's official. I love the 70's show. This is one of the best comedy shows ever. It has the whole package; the spoiled brat, the tomboy, the ridiculously stupid good looking bonehead, the reliable one, the foreign kid, and the pot head orphan. It's a feel good show!

I'm sure everyone has their own favorite show that they just love to indulge after a long day at work or school. It's like having a cigarette, only that it wont give us cancer and it wont cost as much money as actually buying cigarettes. Also I must say I love the show's constant exercising of the word dumbass.

So how is this a big part of our life?

Shows like this drives people nuts, they schedule their work around it, they record it, they replay it, they buy posters, they buy DVDs, they google the casts, they just cant get enough of it. The shows are what keeps us sane in my point of view, when we are just having that one really crappy day and all we wanna do is just ugh! not do anything, just relax at home, just pop in that DVD of our favorite show and just watch the show. It clears our mind and relaxes us.

As I am writing this right now I am watching the season 4 of That 70's Show from my very new special edition DVD set of all seasons1 thru 8 that I just bought 4 days ago.

My favorite has to be Hyde, he's fricken hilarious. He was in beethoven's 2nd as the kid who takes out Rice on his motorcycle. Ooh la la.
And what's the deal with Leo man? He's like Jesus man. Like he's so cool man like he's done everything man.

That 70's Show is like a stress reliever, and some how eventually I'm not going to watch it as much as I do now. Yeah, like a phase but it kind of come back like an old knee injury. But it's going to be a part of our lives, we are going to always turn to the little part in the back of our minds where we remembered how great it felt to watch the show. Then we are gonna put that DVD in our player and watch it over and over again!

Another thing, isn't it gross how Jackie was 14 and Ashton was like 20 when they filmed the first season? And they were going at it like dogs. And what's up with Jackie and her rainbow stuff? It's like a leprechaun tackled her and vomited rainbows on her, only with out the pot of gold.

Okay so this is the episode where Dana is with Casey in a hotel room and Eric comes to stop her. It's so sad, he's so hung over her and what's more sad is that the most nicest guys in the world ends up all hung up on one girl. I have this friend who has the most annoying, ten timing, cheating, lying girlfriend in the world and my friend is such a sweet guy. And he's hung up on her. So there you go. my point proven.

In conclusion, That 70's Show is great, greatness and all things good. Teaches life long lessons and things what not to do. It gets us through tough times and comforts us.

The Secret Garden of being afraid of the swine flu

2009-10-15T10:54:00.008-10:00

H1N1 Swine Flu Cases - U.S.A.

U.S.A.	Cases	Deaths
Alabama	330
Alaska	60
Arizona	761	10
Arkansas	42
California	1985	21
Colorado	136
Connecticut	1247	6
Delaware	316
Florida	1302	5
Georgia	118
Hawaii	616
Idaho	92
Illinois	3166	13
Indiana	267
Iowa	92
Kansas	117
Kentucky	130
Louisiana	183
Maine	82
Maryland	591	1
Massachusetts	1308	3
Michigan	484	7
Minnesota	576	1
Mississippi	161
Missouri	65	1
Montana	67
Nebraska	111
Nevada	301
New Hampshire	224
New Jersey	1159	9
New Mexico	232
New York	2499	44
North Carolina	255	2
North Dakota	57
Ohio	120	1
Oklahoma	128	1
Oregon	366	4
Pennsylvania	1748	4
Rhode Island	158	1
South Carolina	160
South Dakota	29
Tennessee	174
Texas	3991	17
Utah	920	10
Vermont	49
Virginia	191	1
Washington	588	4
Washington DC	33
West Virginia	154
Wisconsin	5861	4
Wyoming	81
TOTAL	33,902	170

http://www.disabled-world.com/health/influenza/swine-flu/cases-statistics.php

-- Honestly I was one of those people who never worried about swine flu, thinking no way is that thing gonna harm me or people around me, but then I got a call from my sister who is currently in boot camp for Army National Guard in South Carolina. She said that on of the soldiers that were there died from a lung disease. She said that everyone was required to call their families to let them know that everyone else is okay. Later on in the news there was an announcement that the soldier died from swine flu.

It made me wonder, how did he get swine in the first place? Did this guy get it before camp and died there? Or did he catch it there?

Actually, when she called us it was about a week and a half ago and she said from that day, almost a week before, the soldier died. For a moment I started to question the government, they inspect the soldiers to make sure that they are not infected with anything, that they get vaccinated. How could they overlook this?

Of course I came to my senses and realized that the soldier must have caught it during camp. Then for a minute I pictured the ill soldier in my head, all the pain he must have gone through. Not only did he have the flu, he had to go through training. He must have suffered so much.

There are even more cases of swine flu that didn't get reported, it's frightening to know that so many people died from this flu in Mexico and now it's spreading everywhere. I never paid attention to this flu, I never thought that it would affect me in anyway but I realized that there is chance that my family members could catch swine, so it's best to be on the look out for this flu.

At some point I was paranoid about it because someone can have it and pass it to a friend and that friend will pass it to a friend and that person will pass it to someone I know and then I'll have it. People say that it's mind over matter but doesn't that only apply to pain? I guess not but still if it become a obsession what's going to happen next?

The Secret Garden of forgotten birthdays

2009-10-12T12:55:00.003-10:00

It's a bummer, forgotten birthdays are the worst, the forgotten-er feels the tremendous amount of guilt and the forgotten-nee feels the cold shoulder. Then there is that awkwardness that dwells around the whole day and even forces the meanest people to be nice for that one special day. Unfortunately I am one of those people who forgot a birthday today, it's my co-worker's birthday and i forgot it. The shame! I felt really bad since she gave me a 100 dollars for my birthday and have been so nice to me though out the year.

Can forgotten birthdays separate friendships, relationships and even family ties? Just because of that one day can it drive people apart?

From my personal experience I believe it does. I had a friend who considered me her best friend but to me she was one of those friend who I felt that only called or messaged me when she needed something from me. So when I didn't text or call on her birthday she got upset and that ended our friendship.

So in conclusion, we threw my co-worker a party in the end and she appreciated it, she didn't want one from us but it was something that we felt like we needed to do. Birthday cupcakes, tiaras and sashes were involved, she looked pretty.

The Secret Garden of customers we hate

2009-10-10T14:47:00.000-10:00

It's unavoidable, they are everywhere and they keep coming back...

Yes, you guess it, customers - annoying, rude, arrogant customers. Age and gender doesn't matter, nor does race, height or size; they come in different forms and share the same mind crushing characteristics. They enter the "DO NOT ENTER" zones, they pull, push, fondle with things that clearly says "DO NOT TOUCH", they demand that they get their money back after opening and re-taping back their products, and they always want things to be accommodated to them.

I really feel sorry for cashiers, I swear they have it the worst because it's dealing with money. I work as a front desk clerk so I feel their pain, it's exhausting trying to deal with them. And how we deal with them is a even bigger headache, of course we can't yell at them or just bang their heads against the table, no that's unprofessional. All we can do is talk to them in a reasonable manner which is torture!

Things would be so much easier if there was a guidebook about how to handle these things, a little black book that has step by step instructions on how to talk to the patients calmly and not offending them so that they will leave immediately, how wonderful would our lives be if that existed? Unfortunately that is too good to be true and life would be drama-less if we had one of those books so that's why we have to learn to deal with these kinds of things the hard way.

One time I was working at the clinic and this woman demanded to see Rosie, for those of you who don't know Rosie is my boss/mother's dog and she is just precious. Rosie usually sleeps in her bed right next to my desk where patients are not allowed to come in. So this patient decides that she wants to pet her while she is sleeping and comes barging in to the employees only area, so I stopped her and said "I'm sorry but this is an employees only area," then she gives me the most coldest look and says " I only want to see the dog, I'm not doing anything." Usually my older sister who is more masculine handles these kinds of situations but she is in South Carolina for her training at the Army Base. So for a good 5 minutes I repeated the sentence over until she gave up and sat down. Then the next week she came back for her treatment and she does it again! Why? Why does this woman keep doing this? Honestly I don't know, but what I do know is that there are unreasonable people out there who have absolutely no common sense. We can't control the peoples' stupidity, all we can do is control ourselves and perform the appropriate actions to the customers. It's frustrating, I know, sometimes I want to slap them upside the head and most of the time I imagine that in my head and it helps me to put a smile on my face while I deal with them.

Bad customers are a pain in the neck and from personal experiences, do whatever it is that make you feel better but never NEVER use ice cream as an outlet for your feelings - they go straight to the thighs.

The Secret Garden for the love of Dogs

2009-10-07T17:17:00.002-10:00

We all have reached a point in our lives where we love another person, cared for another person and done everything in our power to keep that person happy. It's exactly like that only it's about a dog, the big question is "Is that normal?" Honestly where do we draw the line between loving a dog and being completely obssessed about it? My dog Rosie is a tiny little shitzu and she is spoiled to the max, she has never been on a leash nor has she ever walked on a street. For her birthdays she get an overly expensive Juicy Couture doggy carrier with embedded crystals and an imitation sheep skin blanket so her precious little body won't be tossed around in the carrier.

What could possibly be the reason why people do these things? Actually better yet, why is it that my mother do these ridiculous things to the poor little dog? She needs to be freed, run wild with her tongue flapping out of her mouth and bark at helpless birds. Is it love or is it being too attached? Or even worse, believing that dumping on mountains of designer products for a dog will bring them love?

So that leads to a new question: How far will people go to keep their dogs "happy"?

I work at an acupuncture clinic so there are loads of people who adore Rosie and spoils her every time they come to the clinic for their treatment. One of our patients have brought her doggy dresses while the other brought her chopped sweet potatoes in a little container. Talk about high maintenance, Rosie DOES NOT drink warm water nor does she drink water that has been sitting out for more than 2 hours. How would she know if it's been sitting out that long, no one knows.

I swear she is not a canine, she is a reincarnation of a princess who died from having all of her excessive unnecessary objects falling on her when she opened her closet; her excessively, unnecessarily, ginormous closet.

Rosie refuses to eat eggs, shrimp, certain types of fish, soy sauce, and all cream cheeses except the vegetable garden cream cheese along with her toasted bagel. Surprisingly my mother accommodates to her ridiculous needs and spoon feeds her the food during dinner time.

I wonder how many people feel like their parents/spouses dogs have been picked over themselves because I certainly feel like that. Which makes me question the whole purpose of having a dog, isn't having a kid enough? I always thought the whole purpose of having a dog is to be a watch dog, at least I think so? Don't get me wrong I love dogs, it was my idea to get Rosie and it was my money that got her to our house. But it's gotten to he point where she has taken our fur jackets and seat cushions for her personal needs. What about my fur jacket needs?!

Maybe one day there will be a law against unfair jacket stealing for dogs.

That would be just delightful.

Live as you wish

2009-10-06T12:04:00.000-10:00

Take a breath, stop... Hold it, count to 10, breathe out. Every time I do this I feel energized, as if that big breath of air filled up my soul and recharged it to it's normal state. Then I get to thinking, am I doing everything that I wanted to do? I'm 18 years old now, did I accomplish everything that I wanted to accomplish by the time I reached this age? And the answer is always no. This very ritual keeps me going, my own energizer bunny, the beating to my drum that motivates me to push on and on until my very last day.

Remembering my first day of American school, which was my first day of 2nd grade and I was clueless as the sheep that got separated from Mary. My first assignment was to write my name and what I want to be when I grew up, I was going to write that I wanted to be a veterinarian but instead I wrote "I want to grow up and be like my mommy." Now 10 years has passed and I'm still on that same path but is it the path that I want to take? My mother is an acupuncturist, I have been working at her clinic for about a year now and the more I think about it I don't like the environment. Dealing with the patients and doing what I do, I'm not so sure if acupuncture is the way to go for me, I mean I appreciate it and acupuncture actually does work but I don't know if that's my "dream job".

When we live do we really live to the fullest? Sometimes I say that it's because I don't have the time for it and that I don't have that kind of opportunity to go for it. We are always going to have a reason or excuse for not following our dreams and goals but it's not our environment that keeps us from breaking free, it's ourselves that's holding us back.

I love to write, I might be any good but I love it, I want to write and I want to continue writing. My life was set up for me where I didn't have a say in what college I wanted to go to or if I wanted to live in another state so I blamed my unsatisfied life on those reasons. But I realized that I have more than enough chances to do what I want to do because no one can live my life for me and the more I accepted that I gained more confidence. After telling my mother that I wanted to go to the mainland for school, of course she was against this but in the end she agreed that it would be a good experience for me to have.

How we live our life is up to us, as simple as that.

Who in the world said that we can't?