Sunday, December 6, 2009

The Secret Garden of fooling ourselves

I guess at some point in our lives it's going to get tough and we are going to want to give in to the easy way out - leaving, walking out, quitting, whatever you want to call it. That one point in our lives where everything we worked for and everything that we were holding on to is no longer a priority. Then we tend to drift off and behave in certain ways that we would have never dreamed of doing, whether we are looking for a way out from the bottom of that wine glass or brainwashing ourselves into thinking that the mountain we are climbing now has no downhill, so there is no point in pushing on. 

When things get so hard we misbehave and become our alter ego, just someone that's totally 180 degrees from who we really are. Because we don't want to face what's in front of us, what we have to wake up to every morning and the unsatisfactory thoughts we have towards the circumstances that we are living in, it blinds us from how we truly feel. To me it's like losing weight, we try and try but there are no results being shown. Then we get disappointed and discouraged because we are not patient enough for the weight to come off. We have an image of how we imagine ourselves to look in the mirror when we are skinny but every time we look in the mirror the person staring back at us don't fit the image. 

In my opinion, leaving behind our lives to start fresh is the definition of lust. Thinking about that reset button rushes adrenaline through our veins and got us fantasizing about how our lives can be molded into perfection. However, perfection does not exist. There is a difference between cutting out what we don't want from our lives and chasing after something that we want right now but won't be needing later; like trends. 

If we followed trends we will never be able to have our own sense of style and individualism. We won't be comfortable in our own skin, we'll just have to continuously change our look to make ourselves feel like we are fitting in with society.

Instead of correcting the way we think we try to replace the parts of our lives that define who we are. Like the people who love us when times are hard with people who we think that will love us more when times are hard and thoughts of "if I stick it out through this rough time it's going to make me stronger" with thoughts of "if I leave now I won't have to deal with this anymore."

Now the big decision is how do we know if staying with our current situations is the right path to take and what if, just what if, things would have been better for us if we did leave everything behind?