Everyone has a black hole, whether it's a big one or a fairly small one it's implanted in their heart. It's something that can't be healed but only replaced with other some what meaningless, materialistic objects. It's temporary.
What's your black hole?
What about the time you realized that your father bailed on you just before you were born?
What about the time when you first met him when you turned 8?
Was it everything you expected it to be?
What about the time when all the men in your life have done everything else except treat you the way you should be treated?
It's all in the past yet you can't forgive, therefore it still posseses you, controls you and brings you back down to that miserable self you once were before. Is it your fault that these memories haunt you at night or maybe it's no one's fault at all. Maybe it was meant to happen to make you stronger, to prepare you for all the good that are meant to come your way, or maybe you are just that unlucky.
Does all of this make you a weak person?
Is that why you can't sleep at night?