Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Black Hole

Everyone has a black hole, whether it's a big one or a fairly small one it's implanted in their heart. It's something that can't be healed but only replaced with other some what meaningless, materialistic objects. It's temporary.
What's your black hole?

What about the time you realized that your father bailed on you just before you were born?
What about the time when you first met him when you turned 8?
Was it everything you expected it to be?

What about the time when all the men in your life have done everything else except treat you the way you should be treated?

It's unfair.
It's all in the past yet you can't forgive, therefore it still posseses you, controls you and brings you back down to that miserable self you once were before. Is it your fault that these memories haunt you at night or maybe it's no one's fault at all. Maybe it was meant to happen to make you stronger, to prepare you for all the good that are meant to come your way, or maybe you are just that unlucky.

Does all of this make you a weak person?

Is that why you can't sleep at night?

Friday, January 15, 2010

The Secret Garden of being a college student

What's the deal with FAFSA anyway?
The fact that there are so many damn papers to fill out is just mind blowingly annoying. I'm sure every student knows that picking a major is a pretty tough thing to do because if you are undecided and just taking random ass classes, then obviously your tuition money was for nothing.

One of the tougher scenarios is when parents pressure their kids to do what they want them to do. Just because their occupation is a doctor doesn't mean their kids are meant to be one too. For example, my mother swears that I was born to be an acupuncturist and I have a "talent" or a "gift" or whatever, it's kind of hard to understand her in English because I have no idea what the hell she is saying. When it's fricken obvious that acupuncture is something that I don't wanna do, I mean I guess it's cool to stick numerous needles in people but after a year and a half of working around it, I'm sick of looking at old people's asses. Seriously, it's not even about the elderly's asses, it's just asses in general.

My ideal career would be to write for a health magazine or some sort, in my home office, the snow piling up on my windowpane, a cup of awesome, kick ass coffee next to my laptop and a dog. Okay, scratch what I said about the dog, maybe a cat. Or just no animals in general and my sweetheart in the kitchen making me breakfast. End of story.

Not to fucking look at bare, wrinkly asses for the rest of my life.

The sad part about this is that it's totally possible for me to do this, but I'm way too scared to disappoint my mother.



Thursday, January 14, 2010

The Secret Garden of crap that girls do to torture their men

Yes, things have been rough and I was gone for a while but I'm back. Still marching on whether people read this crap or not. Well, I won't necessarily call it crap because it's my thoughts and beliefs that I share in this blog.

I've recently resigned from the Kapio and is not currently just filling the spaces in this blog with stuff that happened to me in between those times. Make sense? For fun, I guess?

There is something that I want to share with all of you and it's connected to the huge earthquake that happened in Haiti not too long ago. I was driving to school one morning with the radio on, I heard a super romantically sad story of an American woman who went to Haiti couple years ago to do volunteer service work. She was trapped under couple feet of concrete and to her surprise she was rescued by her husband. Talk about knight in shinning armor. Seriously.

Only if our everyday lives were like that, right?

Listening to that made me think about my boyfriend and how I should cherish him more because one day, Oahu will have a gigantic earthquake and I will be trapped under couple feet of grass and mangoes and I won't be able to see him ever again. That's a really sad thought.
OK, for real this time. It made me realize how easily we take our loved ones for granted and how short and cruel life can be. Fortunately, this woman was rescued but thousands of others were not.

Even something small that people do for us, like when our boyfriends hold our purses during sidewalk sales. Those acts of kindness are rarely thanked for and vaguely remembered because we are programmed to believe that when people reach a certain level in a relationship or just because they are this or that, it's their responsibility to do such things for us. Another example; toilet seats. Who made it a rule that they are meant to stay up? Who made it a rule that guys have to put the seat down for us girls? Maybe the girls should stop bitching about the toilet seat not being down for their convenience and put that shit up once in a while for the fellas. Just a thought.

It's understandable if the boyfriend is an asshole and expects way too much from the girl, then yeah, fuck em and don't do shit for him. But when your guy is a sweetheart, it doesn't hurt to watch ESPN once in a while with a fatty homemade chicken salad sandwich to keep him company.

OK, I know I'm defending the guys way too much here but maybe girls screw each other over by sticking with these rules and shit that apparently is like "the law" in relationships. Women feed each other with useless stereotypical analysis of the "different types of men" and we screw ourselves over by listening to it and believing that all [fill in the blank] guys are all [fill in the blank]. Then when women "take a chance" and date these men, in the back of their mind they feel like they have to be in control of the relationship and be aware of what those kind of men are known for.

That's why men say that we are crazy.

In reality we are just too bloody brilliant for our own kind.

Therefore giving off the image that we are crazy.

When you think about it, it all makes sense.

It's it funny?

All of these thoughts came to mind just because of that 45 second news break on the radio.