Thursday, June 30, 2011

The (Ex)treme - how far will we go to get over an ex boyfriend?

The Break Up
People say "time heals all wounds", that within time all of the pain and suffering will soon decrease into nothing more than a quick flashback of memories. In order to arrive at this point of numbness and freedom, what needs to be done? What if waiting is not an option and getting over him needs to be done right at this moment?

Many women cry and mourn for weeks, even months to get over a relationship but not all women can afford to break down. Working women especially can not take time off for weeks by putting their obligation on hold to let time do it's job. These women need to pull themselves together and show up at the office on the following morning, so then what is their solution to this matter? Find yourself another hobby. Whether it's hiking, clubbing or another man, it always seems to do the trick.

Though this habit can be useful and tremendously successful, it can be harmful for the soul. This constant need to occupy oneself in order to repress their emotions and behave humanely can lead to feeling empty and unable to feel whole.

It's understandable to want to keep busy from letting the mind enter the state of depression but maybe it's healthy to cry, bitch and scream about the person who mattered the most.

There are women who lose all respect for oneself and punish themselves for letting the relationship go sour. Some women feel free to be out of the cage and have numerous sex with different partners, male or female. Other women latch on to other men to replace the previous one. Then there are women who seek revenge by transforming themselves to their ex partner's ideal image and brutally kicking him to the curb. 

How long must this madness continue before things get back to normal? Is there even a possibility that after a relationship things are not even slightly effected? Is there such thing as normal?

Even after all the pain and heartaches, can the mind not have  alterations of any kind? If the mind is not influenced then it means that person was of no significance.
Is this really what most women want? To not feel pain at all?

How many more drunken phone calls to the ex and late night booty calls does it take for women to finally accept that wallowing is a part of the break up and it's okay to want to do so?

It's normal to feel sad and lonely but once that mountain of aftermath has been climbed, the side of happiness and contentment is waiting on the other side. Take a look around and really appreciate life as it is because without it, there wouldn't be room for growth or the need to evolve as a human being.

No more putting up a front only to have it torn down with a single phone call. Just be sad then one day it won't be so scary any more.

Monday, June 20, 2011

Coffee Addictions - That Was a Legitimate Addiction?

Beware morning people, coffee addictions are for real. I've heard of many addictions, including coffee, but I've always believed that it wasn't a serious addiction or even an addiction at all.

Truthfully, I drink a cup of coffee everyday. OK, even more truthfully, I drink about five cups of coffee a day, however I didn't think it was a big deal. 
Turns out, it is. According to I am a coffee addict.

Caffeine addicts generally consume about 100 mg of caffeine every single day, which is about as much as half a cup of coffee! Hence, people who drink a cup of coffee daily are considered addicted.
The article also says that coffee addicts are defined by their symptoms after consumption of coffee.

Caffeine addiction can be further verified by using withdrawal symptoms as basis for judgement. Withdrawal symptoms generally occur between 12 to 24 hours of the previous dose of caffeine.The most common symptoms of addiction are headaches, physical fatigue, exhaustion, moodiness, muscle aches, difficulty concentrating, irritability and gloom. Most people who quit caffeine consumption abruptly talk about headache and fatigue as the main symptoms.
 Coffee affects other things:
Most certainly some people have health problems that may be exacerbated by intake of caffeine. For example: Caffeine intake can increase breast tenderness during PMS ( Premenstrual Syndrome ) and it can also be linked to many other health conditions
 The website also mentions curing coffee addictions with hypnosis. Really?
It seems the world is making every little thing into a disease or illness. What is this world coming to?

Additional Source:

Helpful Tip of the Day: Keeping the Boobs Happy and Healthy
Breasts are mysterious objects, they get bigger when you want them to shrink and shrink when you need them bigger. Though it gives us stress when it comes to maintaining them, it's extremely important to take care of our precious boobies.

When you are in the shower, give yourself a self breast examination. A self breast examination is used to check for tumors in the breast or any other abnormalities (bumps, dents, etc) in the breasts.

1. Check your breasts with the tips of your fingers; pointer, middle and ring finger and firmly press around your nipple to check for painless bumps or lumps.
2. Check in the shower with one arm lifted up and behind the head.
3.  Check lying down on your back.
4. Do not check it while lying on your side or slightly to your side.

I gave myself a self breast exam while I was lying slightly to my side and I felt couple bumps and I thought it was a tumor. Although it wasn't painless, actually my breasts have been tender and sore for couple weeks so I thought there was something wrong with them. I went to my doctor and she said there's nothing wrong with them, they were just growing...


Print the Shower Card for details on self breast exams and keep yourself informed about breast cancer.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

What's the Secret Garden? Explaination Once Again..

Hello Dolls (or gentle-dolls? if you are a male?)

So basically, the Secret Garden was once a blog about alternative medicine (acupuncture, chiropractors, herbalist, etc) but then I thought this blog is to reflect myself but I don't think that alternative medicine fully explains who I am.

This blog reflects my perspective and opinions of living life to the fullest. I think you need to live out side the box and not follow the trail which has been paved for you.

My trail was to become an acupuncturist, live in Hawaii and follow in my mother's footsteps. Get good grades in school, read many books and live my life serving others. I didn't like the sound of that.

I love fashion, going out, the glamorous life and being able to write. I was once told to not go to a 4 year university and go to a trade school. No thanks. Why is it that I have to live like this and why can't I just do what I want to do?

Then I thought, I can merge the two. I can become a writer and write about alternative med, fashion, makeup, sex, relationships, the BIG BANG while practicing alternative med. Why the heck not? Who said I can't? This inspired me to write about topics that will potentially influence me and others to think differently and have them wondering if they too can alter some parts of their lives so they can achieve the ultimate happiness.

Sounds neat, huh?

So, there you have it. A 411 on the Secret Garden.
P.S. It's called the Secret Garden because it's a garden (a gathering place) of ideas, theories, a look into other people's lifestyles, etc which will help us become a bit quirky and reach that level of satisfaction and completeness that's not only reached when we have orgasms.

Rosie Diaries pt deux - Her cuteness

Rosie a.k.a Noji
Hello World!

Rosie dearest all cozy in her blanket. There are 2 gold seat cushions on that chair because Rosie likes to sit with us while we have our breakfast and lunch. 

The chair was too low and she could not see our faces when she ate her food. So my mother decided to turn the chair into a booster chair. 

You all are probably wondering why she's on my blog when my blog is about living life in a not-so-traditional way, whether they are medical or retail related.

Rosie is our therapy dog and her duties are to keep our patients company during their acupuncture treatments. Therefore, she is part of an alternative lifestyle. Thank you very much.

Now, let's embrace her cuteness. Shall we?

Friday, June 17, 2011

Women with Big Breasts are SMART!

(well for me anyway, this news is pretty darn old but it's huge news to me!) 

Thank you Lord for creating some specimen on earth who decided to actually conduct a study on this. AMEN!

Random shirt that shows appreciation for big boobs
An article written in 2009 which was featured on, showed that women with large breasts are smart!

Sat, Jun 18, 2011
The Star/Asia News Network

Women with bigger breasts found to be smarter
A STUDY conducted in the United States showed that women with big breasts are not necessarily less intelligent than those who are less endowed.
Quoting a Singapore newspaper article, Sin Chew Daily said women with bigger breasts were found to be smarter instead.
It said the study was conducted in Chicago to find out whether the size of a woman’s bust affected her brain power.
The study, involving 1,200 women, was conducted by a female researcher. The subjects were divided into five groups, from extra small to extra big.
The report said it was possible such women were smarter due to the higher level of female hormones that could result in better development in the brain.

As a woman of Korean descent, I feel rejuvenated and proud to have big boobs. For years  I was teased due to my large breasts and I resented my mother for giving me DD breasts. Big boobed women of the world; UNITE!


Finding Mr. Right; Should Women Settle for Mr. Almost?

Many have attempted, rarely they've succeeded and majority have failed. Why is it that women have this mentality that men can be changed and that if they invest all of their love and wishful thoughts it will come true? Women have this idea that men desire our motherly care and that is what we are placed here for, but after seven cups of coffee I realized that this is just a fairy tale ideal that women of many generations ago have implanted in our heads.

Disney's Beauty and the Beast
Take Walt Disney's Beauty and the Beast for example, the whole concept of this story is that Belle (the caring, beautiful woman who has a heart of gold) sticks around long enough to change the Beast's heart and transform him from a selfish, self centered, fugly being with anger issues into a prince charming. We as children believe that this is how life is supposed to be, that we have the ability or magical powers to change a man into our dream guy. Is this really a healthy mindset to be viewed by young girls? Does this mean that girls should neglect their dreams, aspirations and goals in hopes that their man will one day become their Mr. Right?

So let's think about this ladies, is it really worth all the energy and time on a man that will always be the same? Why is it that we can't accept them for who they are and live a happily ever after ending? Actually, weren't we the ones who wanted to give them a shot to begin with? If these men do not fit our criteria for an eligible boyfriend or husband, why did we even go on that first date?

All of these thoughts make me wonder if we subconsciously desire perfection in our spouses because we can not achieve perfection in ourselves. We take out our insecurities in our spouses. As for me, I want my boyfriend to be taller. Even though he is 6 inches taller than me I feel that I need him to be a foot taller. One day, after numerous days of hoping he'll grow taller, I realized that because I'm insecure of my height, I needed him to be bigger than me.

I've always been proud of my height (I'm 5'2 and a quarter almost 5'3) up until someone told me I'm too tall. I didn't think about it much but since then I felt that I needed a man that was much taller than me. Of course, this lead to my obsession with growth stretches.

Compared to the male gender, us females have seemingly higher rate of dissatisfaction of our bodies and lives. Most men do not care about their fashion choices and how their clothes reflect themselves to others.

Men remind me of thirteen year old teenagers, when the parents tell the teens in a authoritative way they refuse to do so. When women keep pushing them to change they will do the complete opposite. Precisely, this is true for everyone, no?

I've once heard that men are nothing without competence, which explains how short, bald, nerdy men end up with extremely beautiful, smart and faithful wives. Women crave that power, what attracts a woman to a man is his competence as a man. A man is conceptualized to be the bread winner and protector as for the women we are to be the care giver. I've come to a conclusion that the physical features of a man is what attracts a woman but their capabilities are what draws them in for more.
When these expectations are not met, women want a change but have already developed such a strong bond and comfort that they become desperate to change them.

This results to stress, disappointment and desire for the things which we do not have at the moment, therefore disregarding our spouses as "Mr. Not Right but Will be Right with My Help". Our hopes lead us to many hours of purchasing his clothes, doing his bookkeeping, cleaning his house, hiding the video games and many other hopeless behaviors. If we accepted them for who they are and out weight his bad qualities with his good ones, we can learn to be happy with what we got. Sadly, we don't know where to draw the line between accepting them and coexisting with a total loser.

Should we just wait and pray that he will eventually turn out to be our Mr. Right or take actions into our own hands? When is it OK to tell a man that he needs to change his ways and is it even possible for a person to change for their spouse? Change, my friend, is such a simple act yet so difficult to begin. Is it even moral for a person to ask another person to change themselves implying that they require some fixing and that there's nothing wrong with us?

Could it be that there is something wrong with us by thinking that it's OK to ask someone else to change for us? We always think "It's for his own good" and "He'll thank me later". Will he? Also, why don't we just end the relationship when we finally see that the things that need fixin' outweigh the things that we love about them? Maybe, instead of asking for changes from others, we should ask ourselves how we can change to better the situation.

It's like filing your finger nails, there's that one corner that needs filing and when we sand it down, we notice it doesn't match with the rest of the nine finger nails. Hence the reason why we must fix all of them.

Face it ladies, we want Mr. Right or nothing at all. I blame fairy tales.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Local Magazines - What's Out There?

"I'm 20 years old and in need to a job. Where can I get a friggin job as a writer?"

Thoughts like these sped through my mind as I glanced at my desk calendar this morning and realized that It's already been a month since I've been back home. Since then, I've done nothing but just manage the desk at my mother's acupuncture clinic and play catch-up with my girlfriends. No sign of motivation nor determination for further advancement in my career decision.

So I decided to Google some local magazines here in Hawaii and discovered so many of them that it just blew my mind out of this desperate world of career seeking world.

I came across Kane Magazine; a men's magazine in Hawaii which I am extremely interested in. This magazine features interviews with the men of Hawaii and some eligible bachelors. I've contacted them about possibly adding me as columnist so I can reveal the minds of Hawaiian women and their opinions about them; their turn ons, turn offs, what's good to do on dates, etc.. However, it looks like their website has been discontinued since 2008. How sad. 

MMA Hawaii Magazine Cover
Next, MMA Hawaii Magazine. Pretty darn straight forward isn't it? Basically an all-in-one source for anything MMA or UFC related in Hawaii or for folks of Hawaii. On June 17th, 18th and 19th, they are having a MMA Hawaii Expo which will include MMA events with a body building contest. The events will include MMA fighters Jake Shields and Gilbert Melendez.
There are major magazines in Hawaii such as Honolulu Magazine, Hawaii Magazine, etc, however, I wanted to work with magazines that are not so corporate and carried the Hawaii charm.  

Racesauce Mag - Japan

For those of you who enjoy import car racing or street racing, there's Racesauce Hawaii; a website dedicated to car racing fanatics. It covers events in Hawaii and in other states that are relevant to import cars, models and everything racing. Such events like Hot Import Nights Hawaii and Hella Flush Hawaii. To be honest, I have no idea what they are but they sure look hella fun.

I think this is a great addition to Hawaii's gay community and it's filled with relationship, dating and fashion! Expression Magazine is a gay magazine which features headlines from the islands. So far, this is the most exciting alternative magazine I've encountered so far, but then again, maybe it's because of my gay friendly mentality. This magazine is awesome for people who are interested in attending late night events or galas (or dressing up super hot). It's got 411 on gay events and clubs that are happening everyday of the week. The magazine has information of Hawaii Fest/Honolulu Pride. The events has passed but still not too late to find out when it'll reoccur on the islands.

In conclusion, there are many opportunities for writers who want to jump start their careers. The question is, which one works the best for me? Hopefully one day I can start my own health magazine and sweep the world with my cool, suave words of alternative medicine.

A girl can dream right?

Monday, June 13, 2011

Rosie in Action

Rosie sniffing my chocolate sun flower
She's so photogenic. I swear she can be a doggy model.

Rosie Diary- Daily life of Rosie the Therapy Dog

Rosie Diary is a tribute to our dog Rosie who works 5 days a week as a therapy dog. She didn't receive any training to be a therapy dog but all of our patients want to have her around when they get their treatments. We use red infra lamps during acupuncture treatments and she likes to take naps with the patients in 25 minute increments. I was inspired to write about Rosie on my blog when a patient said that she was a unique dog.

My mom's shitzu, Rosie, is our acupuncture clinic's therapy dog and she is beloved by everyone.
One of Rosie's houses at our clinic
Rosie turned 6 years in April and she weighs 4 pounds as of today. She has a strange habit of sleeping between our patients' legs while they are receiving their acupuncture treatments. The dog loves warm places and she naps about every 2 hours for about an hour.

Basically she's my mom's little princess. Not only does she eat human food, she only eats human food that's been heated in the microwave and cut into bite size pieces. She does not like to eat fish, eggs or shrimp but loves beef, pork and chicken. However, she does not eat all red meat, the meat has to be prepared  and marinated in a certain way or else she refuses to eat and throws up stomach acid on our carpet.

This morning before heading out to work my mom sliced up pieces of medium rare steak and mixed in steamed rice in her bowl. Rosie being the picky eater gave the bowl a sniff and turned her head indicating that she was displeased with her meal, which lead to projectile vomiting in the kitchen. She reminds me of Paris Hilton and her strike against using the prison toilet in front of her inmates by refusing to intake her meals.

I wondered if all shitzus behaved this way because they were bred to be lap dogs in China. When will the spoiling of the dog come to an end? Will Rosie ever learn to accept her meal and realize that she is fortunate to be living in such luxurious conditions? For God's sake, she has over 40 designer dresses and 7 doggy houses not including the ones we've previously thrown away. I feel that Rosie acts this way because we've always treated her like a princess; feeding her organic vegetables, cold iced tea, freshly grilled beef and crunchy gourmet dessert cookies.

Is it our fault that we decided to treat dogs equal to humans?

Friday, June 10, 2011

Mystical Mermaids; Just Humans or Creatures with Healing Powers?

Astrid Berges-Frisbey

Since the day I first watched The Little Mermaid, I have been just crazy about them and I would read numerous books about these mystical creatures whom we refer to as mermaids. Now that I've grown out of the mermaid-dress-up phase I've gotten into the research phase. From my knowledge, I know that mermaids are half human-half fish creatures that enchant sailors and drown them underwater to make them their eternal husbands. This idea of magical creatures seem so unreal and unbelievable yet, I wondered if it was really true.

How could people long ago make up stories about magical underwater creatures without basing it on something real? The very first mermaid must be modeled after something that resembled it in physical resemblance or in characteristics. This lead me to such information that I just had to share.

I came across a website called Woman Thou Art God and it discusses the possibilities of mermaids being resembled or mistaken for humans or animals. William Bond, the author of The Secret History of Mermaids, discusses how history provides evidence that mermaids could actually be woman divers in many areas of the world, which is why some sightings of mermaids record that they did not have tails. During these times, women were forbidden to be swimming in the wide ocean or be nude so it could be that when sailors saw such occurrences,  they believed that they have encountered mermaids.

The key to making sense of all these tales comes through the story of a Dutch seaman called Hamel. He was on a Dutch ship, ‘Sperwer’ that was wrecked near the Korean island of Cheju in 1653. Where he and the other survivors of the wreck spent ten months on the island. On returning to Holland, he wrote a book about his experiences and claimed that there were mermaids on the island. What’s interesting is that even today women from the island dive for shellfish and edible seaweed. Does this mean that what we refer to as mermaids are simply women divers?
Thanks to television, I was introduced to a mermaid, a woman who can interact with underwater creatures, free dive for 50M underwater in one breath. She was interviewed on 20/20 on a special edition called "Superhumans".

"The tail gives me so much more propulsion and streamline ability," said Fraser. "I can swim much faster with the tail on than other people can without it. So really fast, strong swimmers can't keep up with me when I'm wearing it. It's like it imbues me with some kind of superhuman powers of confidence and longevity to be in the ocean."

 What got me thinking was the documentary of "The Little Mermaid", a girl born with a mermaids tail. This is called the mermaid syndrome also known as sirenomelia.  Her name is Shiloh Pepin and she was born with the mermaid syndrome, her muscles joined her two legs and she was born without a rectum, bladder, vagina, colon or uterus.

Mermaid Syndrome
Could it be that people saw a woman with the mermaid syndrome and thought she was a mermaid? Also, why is it that people who have this syndrome are all women?

In the movie, Pirates of the Carribean - On Stranger Tides, the mermaids were known to have healing powers. Why is this so? Is it something about their soul? Could mermaids be a symbol for women healers? Why is it that mermaids are known to have these healing powers?
There are stories of mermaids and mermaid powers.

Sometimes a kind mermaid will give good advice to human beings. There was once a man in Galloway who had skill as a curer of diseases, and it was said that he received some of his knowledge from a mermaid. A beautiful girl named May was ill with consumption. The Galloway herbalist tried in vain to cure her, and as he loved her dearly and wished to marry her, his heart was very sad when he found that his herbs did not do her any good. One evening as he sat sorrowing on the shore, a mermaid raised her head above the waves and sang:
Would you let bonnie May die in your handAnd the mugwort flowering in the land?
(Mugwort is a flowering, aromatic plant.)
Then she vanished. The man went at once and gathered the flowers of the mugwort, and made a medicine. This he gave to May, who was soon restored to health.
Maybe these legends are not false at all. Maybe there is a possibility that mermaids were once healers, human beings who walked the earth.

I still would like to believe that there are such creatures as mermaids and one day our technology will be astronomically advanced that we will be able to venture down below into the unknown?
Yes, I believe we will.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Talking about sex

Late last night my girlfriends and I decided to have dinner after long hours of hitting up the beach and working out. After two hours of discussing which restaurant to dine at, we decided to go to Curry House on McCully street. As we were discussing each others lives, I realized what we were doing now reminded me of all the dinner scenes in Sex and the City. That got me thinking; how far is going too far when it comes to talking about sex?

There is fine line between discussing some parts of our daily lives and exposing too much about ourselves. One of my girlfriends is studying abroad in Japan and she lost her virginity at twenty years old to a man she only dated for two weeks. Why wait that long to give it away so quick? Now she had entered the unsettling and mysterious world of sex. She wanted to know all about yeast infections, the pills, the STDs and turned to one of us for help.

Her questions made me wonder about all the women in the world who do not have girlfriends to talk to about sex and the grey areas which we have no clue how to deal with. Although the world came up with medications, education and disease control to aid those of us who need it, why is it that the rate of sexually transmitted diseases are shooting through the roof?

We are too scared to face the things that can be harmful to us so we end up disregarding the warning signs that read "Danger! Use a Condom" or "See a gynecologist".

The truth is, sex isn't something to be ashamed of or to hide. Yes, it is something to be done in privacy with someone special but it should not be a sinful or embarrassing thing. We are meant to have sex and reproduce, it's us who made this into something bad. If everyone's conception of sex was viewed as a natural process of love, then we won't be too afraid to learn about it and ask questions, therefore limiting the spread of diseases. Don't you agree?