Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Live as you wish

Take a breath, stop... Hold it, count to 10, breathe out. Every time I do this I feel energized, as if that big breath of air filled up my soul and recharged it to it's normal state. Then I get to thinking, am I doing everything that I wanted to do? I'm 18 years old now, did I accomplish everything that I wanted to accomplish by the time I reached this age? And the answer is always no. This very ritual keeps me going, my own energizer bunny, the beating to my drum that motivates me to push on and on until my very last day.

Remembering my first day of American school, which was my first day of 2nd grade and I was clueless as the sheep that got separated from Mary. My first assignment was to write my name and what I want to be when I grew up, I was going to write that I wanted to be a veterinarian but instead I wrote "I want to grow up and be like my mommy." Now 10 years has passed and I'm still on that same path but is it the path that I want to take? My mother is an acupuncturist, I have been working at her clinic for about a year now and the more I think about it I don't like the environment. Dealing with the patients and doing what I do, I'm not so sure if acupuncture is the way to go for me, I mean I appreciate it and acupuncture actually does work but I don't know if that's my "dream job".

When we live do we really live to the fullest? Sometimes I say that it's because I don't have the time for it and that I don't have that kind of opportunity to go for it. We are always going to have a reason or excuse for not following our dreams and goals but it's not our environment that keeps us from breaking free, it's ourselves that's holding us back.

I love to write, I might be any good but I love it, I want to write and I want to continue writing. My life was set up for me where I didn't have a say in what college I wanted to go to or if I wanted to live in another state so I blamed my unsatisfied life on those reasons. But I realized that I have more than enough chances to do what I want to do because no one can live my life for me and the more I accepted that I gained more confidence. After telling my mother that I wanted to go to the mainland for school, of course she was against this but in the end she agreed that it would be a good experience for me to have.

How we live our life is up to us, as simple as that.

Who in the world said that we can't?